Love Is Always Write Volume 4

a little before coming out with a quiet, 'Oh, um… cool.' Then he'd give Chad a little smile, a quick kiss and ask what they should do this weekend.
    But the weird thing was, now that he'd decided, he couldn't wait. He raised his head from his pillow and looked at Zeb to see if he was indeed asleep. The soft breaths and peaceful expression made that pretty clear, and Chad didn't want to wake him, so he whispered, "I love you, Zeb." Just so he could hear himself say the words. He snuggled in closer to his lover's chest and felt his breathing, his heartbeat, and emotion poured through him. "I love you so much. I wish I could tell you. I wish you could tell me." The words may have been spoken softly, but his chest ached and his eyes stung.
    He fell asleep content even if Zeb hadn't heard him.
    That peacefulness wasn't to last though. The next couple days Zeb was quiet and very busy (avoiding Chad, although he didn't know it at the time). Then, in the weeks leading up to Christmas, Zeb acted distant. Chad thought he was just imagining it at first, but finally he put it together when he realized the strange behavior all led back to that night.
    Zeb had heard him. He must have because that was the only way the sudden tension in their relationship made any sense. And, obviously, Zeb didn't like what he heard. Realizing this, Chad felt cold deep inside and for the first time, afraid. Afraid that instead of just the awkward silence he had originally expected, his declaration of love could actually mean losing his boyfriend.
    So Chad decided to keep his feelings to himself.
    Inside he felt like he was walking on eggshells, waiting for Zeb to bring the subject up or in some way make it known that they weren't as serious as Chad had thought. Deciding that putting Zeb through a visit to his parents would be a huge mistake, he'd cancelled their plans. After the visit from his brother it was all too easy to picture the scene that would unfold – his father and brother criticizing Chad constantly and all three of them snubbing Zeb – and wondered what in the hell he'd been thinking in the first place.
    He couldn't exactly give Zeb the reason though, so he lied to his boyfriend for the first time and blamed the cancelled trip on his parents deciding to go out of town. He felt like crap about lying but was glad he did, since the more he thought about it the more he realized how uncomfortable it would probably make Zeb to have to deal with his family.
    It only got worse when Zeb surprised him one day, coming home to tell Chad he'd gotten a day job at a glassworks company. His lover seemed excited about it and smiled a lot, but to Chad it seemed fake. He reminded his lover, carefully, that he didn't really need another job, that he already had one with his band, and that there was nothing wrong with him focusing on his music. But Zeb had been adamant. It didn't take long, however, for it to become obvious Zeb hated the work. There were many days Zeb would come home irritated, mumbled curses under his breath. When Chad would hear it he'd simply remind Zeb that he could quit anytime and get an eye roll in return. "Of course not! I need a steady paycheck, don't I?" Zeb would shoot back.
    It was driving Chad insane!
    And what truly seemed to tip the scales in the negative was when an agent based out of California saw Abduction perform in April and was very enthusiastic about signing them. You'd think that would be a good thing, but any time it was brought up all he'd hear from Zeb was all the reasons why it was a wrong fit for Abduction, and his boyfriend would act almost pissed that Chad would even suggest otherwise. It didn't make any sense. What the agent was offering was exactly what Zeb and his band had been working towards. It was the chance of a lifetime!
    A full month passed after meeting the agent, and Chad had given up trying to talk to Zeb about it. But when Zeb's hours got cut at work the mumbled complaints about his hateful day job were added to with just as quiet ones about how he should be focusing on his career. Knowing he wasn't going to get any answers out of Zeb, Chad went to Callie to find out what was going on in with his boyfriend.
    She was vague but it was obvious she had a better idea what was going on than he did. He had to remember that she was more Zeb's friend than his, Zeb's oldest and dearest actually, and that she probably didn't want to betray her friend's confidence. And, although it felt more like she