Love Is Always Write Volume 4

you
    Never wanting to let go
    Always wanting to let you know
    As the waves crashed around us
    I cry
    As the seagulls screamed their chorus
    I cry
    In the cold November air
    Chad's eyes stung and it hurt to breath.
    The chorus repeated, louder, more heartfelt then before, and the song ended, the last beat echoing in the silent theater. Chad watched Zeb close his eyes and take in a deep breath, his shoulders slumped as if exposing his heart to the entire crowd had been just too much. For just a moment he seemed so vulnerable, so lost, and Chad let out the breath he hadn't even known he'd been holding.
    Then a heartbeat passed and the crowd's level of appreciation was shown with cheers, applause and tears. Zeb straightened up and smiled at the people before him, and Chad just stood there and blinked.
    It couldn't be. There was no way he could be singing of us, of me . Chad knew it didn't make sense; for that to be true Zeb would have to miss him, still care for him. And obviously that wasn't the case, or Zeb wouldn't have left him behind in the first place.
    But – but the North Shore, their shore…
    No. He was being ridiculous. There were a lot of shores. Zeb lived in California – which had a coastline full of beaches. He probably brought dates there all the time. Maybe Zeb and his lover had found a special little cove just like Chad and Zeb had here in Minnesota.
    Damn. Not the most pleasant of thoughts. But it did make more sense than Zeb feeling heartbroken over a man he'd dumped so carelessly three years earlier. So… Chad faced facts; he was reading into words not meant for him, repeating the same mistake from three years ago, letting wishful thinking lead him down the same pathetic hopeless path. That did nothing for the ache in his chest.
    He looked up at the stage again, wondering when he'd started to stare at the ground, and saw Zeb respond to the man sitting at the piano with a laugh. For the first time Chad noticed it wasn't Callie sitting there at the keys, her rightful space. Why wouldn't she be with them?
    The new piano player, a cute blond with a quick smile, started the new song with some fast finger work and they were off again. Chad listened. There were love songs, silly and sexy tunes, and two more about heartache. It was strange to hear some of the old ones he'd heard Abduction play on nights he'd go and sit through a rehearsal, just to spend time with Zeb, or at a show when he'd go to give support. Those ones he knew every word by heart, even after all this time. One he recognized immediately even though he'd never heard more than what Zeb would play as he wrote; the song unfinished the day Zeb left.
    It was the new ones he was having a hard time with. Even trying like hell, it was becoming impossible not to make some obvious comparisons. A word, a phrase or a verse that related to the life he and Zeb had shared. But as little details crept in, so did the hope.
    ****
    Zeb was exhausted. He'd barely slept the night before. Not like that was unusual on the nights they were stuck on the cramped tour bus, but last night, crossing over the Minnesota border, had been the worst so far. He couldn't explain the anxiety he felt anymore than he could explain the constellations in the sky. He'd never been good at astronomy; that had been Chad's thing.
    Damn it.
    Now why did he go there? Just cuz he was back in his home state didn't mean he had to go and think of that man. The lying piece of shit…
    "Zeb, here you go." Todd handed him a water bottle. Zeb downed half the bottle in one good long swig, thankful for the ice-cold fluid sliding down his throat. "It was a good one tonight." Zeb only nodded. "Hey, what's with you? You're usually jumping with adrenaline after a show. You're not coming down with something are you?" Todd reached up to touch the back of his fingers to Zeb's forehead but he ducked away.
    "I'm fine. Just tired. And since when do you act like a Goddamn mother hen?"
    "Callie's not here. Someone's gotta." Todd smirked. "Besides, you look like someone just killed your Grandma."
    "Don't got a grandma. You know that."
    "Figure of speech, asshole."
    "Dickwad."
    "Jizz Face."
    Zeb smiled. "You're definitely getting more creative. Gotta give ya that." Zeb wound an arm around Todd's neck. "Come on. Let's get out there. CD's to sign and pictures to pose for."
    "This is what? The tenth time we've done this on the tour? I think I've got the spiel down, no need to remind me."
    "Ya, I know bud. Maybe