Love Means No Shame - Andrew Grey

other side of the line, but Geoff cut him off. “He’s on his year away from the Amish community. What if he’s only curious and I hurt him, or worse, we do something and they find out, shun him, and ruin his life?” A host of awful possibilities passed through his mind.
    “And what if he loves you back?”
That stopped Geoff in his tracks.
    Raine continued. “You wouldn’t be so concerned about him if you didn’t care for him. But what if he cares for you? I know you believe in true love. You saw it with your dad and Len. What if he’s your true love?”
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“I… don’t know what it’s like to be in love… not like that. All I’ve ever had are meaningless affairs and one-night stands.”
    “Then maybe it’s time you found out. I’m not saying you should rush into anything, but I think you need to look at your feelings honestly and then try to determine his.”

    “But he’s so innocent and sweet and beautiful. What if I ruin that?”

    “You won’t. I know you. You’ll cherish it and make it grow like those horses of yours you love so much.” Geoff heard Raine shuffling through his apartment. “Look, babe, I gotta get ready for work. I know this is going to sound cliché, but follow your heart.

    Look, I gotta go or I’ll be late. Call me later and let me know what happens. Bye, babe.” The line disconnected. and Geoff hung up the phone.
    He sat behind his desk and let his mind wander a little. If he were honest with himself, he really did like Eli… a lot. The way he looked in the saddle, the way he smiled, the way those eyes danced when he was happy. “Fuck, I’ve got it bad. Now if I just knew how he felt.” Geoff had always had good gaydar, but where Eli was concerned, he didn’t have a clue.
    Finally, he was able to pull his attention back to business, and he got to work, updating the ledgers and writing the paychecks for the men. By the time he was done, it was time to start lunch.
    In the kitchen, he made a number of sandwiches and brewed fresh coffee. No sooner was he done than the door opened and the men came in. On days like this when they were fixing fences, it was easier for them to eat at the farm, so Geoff made sure there was plenty. The conversation swirled around work; what they’d accomplished, and what they had to do that afternoon.
    “The fences in the far west pasture are falling down. We have to repair them before we can move any cattle in there,” Len said. 79
Andrew Grey
“Is that what we’re doing this afternoon?” Len looked at Geoff. “We? I thought you had work to do here.”
“I got it finished, so I thought I’d help.” All the men smiled and nodded. The more help, the quicker they’d finish.
    Once lunch was over, Geoff piled the dishes in the sink, met the guys in the yard, and rode with the rest of the crew to the pasture, where they broke up into teams to dig post holes, set the posts, and finally string the fence. Geoff and Eli worked together to set the posts, making sure they were perfectly vertical before filling the holes. After hours of working, they had the pasture fences repaired and solid. When Len saw the job was finished, everyone piled in the truck for the ride back to the farmhouse. After putting their tools away, Len declared the day’s work over, and everyone went inside for dinner and the weekly poker game.
    Everyone, that is, except Eli, who went to the barn. Geoff followed to see if something was wrong. “Eli, would you like to join the card game?” He shook his head. “I can’t. You’re playing poker, gambling.” Geoff nodded. “I see. Well, you can still join us for dinner, and then the evening is yours to do whatever you’d like. Or you can watch if you want. Whatever you do, I don’t want you to work, okay?” Eli nodded, and Geoff led him back toward the house.
    They had a nice dinner with everyone chipping in to get it ready, and then they sat around the table, playing cards and talking. Eli sat next to Geoff, watching him through the hands. At the end of the night, everyone helped clean up and then headed home. Eli said good-night and went up to bed. Geoff was left in the kitchen with Len.
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“Geoff, you’ve seemed out of sorts for a while. Is everything okay?” Len sat at the table across from Geoff, a concerned look on his face.
    “Yeah, I’m just trying to work through something.” Geoff’s sigh was met by a knowing smile. “That something