Love Means No Shame - Andrew Grey

to reach out and kiss a smile into its place. In fact, he found himself leaning forward slightly, but he pulled back. He couldn’t, he just couldn’t take the chance. He’d spent the last two weeks trying not to think of Eli as anything other than another of the farm hands, but it was becoming more and more difficult. Besides, he didn’t really know if Eli was even interested, and even if he was…. He had to stop thinking this way. Eli was just another of the farm hands and had to be treated just like the other men. “Thanks for helping me. I’ll be fine.”
    Eli turned to leave the room. “I’ll see you in the morning.” Then he was gone, and Geoff slowly got his tired, aching muscles to work. Getting undressed, he managed to get himself into the bathroom and under the spray of a hot shower. The water felt good on his body but did nothing to calm his mind or drive away the thoughts he kept having about Eli. He knew he had to get himself under control, or he’d do something he’d regret. “This is something I just have to keep to myself and can’t act on, no matter what.” 73
    Andrew Grey

    Geoff knew he was developing feelings for the angelic, innocent young Amish man, feelings he shouldn’t be having and most definitely couldn’t act on.

    With a sigh, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, drying himself off. He took some ibuprofen against the pain he knew was to come and climbed into bed, falling asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

    He woke at the usual time, his body protesting each and every movement. He hadn’t felt this bad since the last time he’d been out drinking all night, and at least then he’d had sex. Forcing his legs to move, he got to the bathroom and took some more pain relievers.

    Somehow he got himself dressed and presentable before dragging himself down to the kitchen, where a pot of coffee was blessedly waiting. Pouring himself a mug, he sipped as he walked slowly around the kitchen, loosening up tightened muscles.
    Once he’d finished his coffee, he put his mug in the sink and walked carefully to the barn to see what was going on. He had no intention of going riding—the thought of trying to get on a horse made his legs throb. Opening the door, he saw movement in one of the stalls and figured it was Eli with Twilight. Sure enough, he found Eli in Twilight’s stall, tightening the girth on her saddle.
    “Morning, Eli.”
The smile he got lit the entire barn. “Good morning, Geoff.
Feeling better?”
    “Yes, and thank you for helping me.” Eli smiled, nodded, and went back to saddling Twilight. Geoff went down to Kirk’s stall, and that majestic black head poked out as soon as he heard footsteps. “Morning, boy.” He patted his nose and was about to give him a carrot when he noticed the bit and bridle.
    Looking in the stall he saw that Kirk had been brushed and groomed until his coat gleamed, with his saddle on his back. Every morning 74 Love Means … NO SHAME
for the last week, Geoff had come out to find Kirk saddled and ready for their morning ride.
    “Okay, boy, I guess we’re going after all.” He heard Eli leading Twilight out of the barn, so he opened the stall door and led Kirk out too. “Eli, thank you, but you don’t have to saddle him for me.” Eli’s smile faded, and Geoff knew he had to say something, anything to get that smile back. “He looks beautiful.” Geoff smiled, and Eli’s returned full force.
    They mounted their horses, Geoff far more gingerly than usual, and headed out. The sun had just risen, and the cool May morning was refreshing and crisp. They talked very little, just riding together, passing fields of wildflowers and pastures with grazing cattle.
Eli rode up next to him. “Geoff, I’m not sure how to ask this, but here in the English world, is it okay to be….” He stopped, and Geoff waited for him to continue. “You know… gay?” They hadn’t spoken on this topic since their morning ride a few weeks earlier, and Geoff had figured it was because Eli wasn’t comfortable talking about it.
    “I’ve been thinking since we talked, and I wanted to ask," Eli continued. "In the community, if someone was gay, they’d be excommunicated… are the English the same way?”
    “That’s a difficult question. For a long time, people could be killed or put in prison for being gay, but now most people are more understanding. There are still people who won’t accept us and even those who would hurt