Love Means No Shame - Andrew Grey

Raine and I are friends. We were never lovers.” Now it was Geoff’s turn to be nervous. He’d never talked to Eli about his days carousing in Chicago, and he didn’t know how Eli was going to react. “I had many men when I lived in Chicago, but not Raine.”
    Eli looked confused. “What do you mean you had many men?
You had sex with many men?” Geoff nodded slowly. “Did you love these men?”
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“No, it was just sex.”
    Eli reined in his horse. “Has it been just sex with me too?” The hurt look on his face nearly broke Geoff’s heart, and he could feel a twist in his stomach. How could he explain the shallow, empty sex life he’d had prior to meeting Eli? How could he make him understand that he wasn’t some sort of prowling pervert? Eli’s own words came back to him: “Just speak plain.” Geoff stopped as well, turning to walk Kirk back to where Eli sat, looking heartbroken. “No, it has never been just sex with you.
    My life in Chicago was very different. I spent a lot of my time looking for sex in bars or clubs. I spent a lot of my nights in bed with strangers. It was lonely, and the sex was hollow and unfulfilling. It took me awhile to realize just how shallow my life had become. I had no idea how wonderful sex could be until I met and fell in love with you.” Geoff reached across to touch Eli’s leg.
    “With them it was just sex; with you it’s making love—very different, very different indeed. And I wouldn’t go back to what I had then for anything in the world.” Geoff leaned across the gap between them. “I love you, and I’m sorry if my past hurts you.

    Looking back, I’d change it if I could, but I can’t. The one thing I do know is that it’s made me appreciate how wonderful it is with you; and it is wonderful, special, and thrilling.”
    “You mean it?” Eli seemed relieved, and yet it must have seemed too good to be true. “You wouldn’t just say that to me?” “Of course I mean it.”
    Eli’s head moved forward just a little, those sweet lips touching his. Geoff wanted to pull him close, kiss him hard. Make love to him right there in the middle of the pasture, show him just how much he meant to him, but that was going to have to wait, particularly since Kirk was starting to throw his head, becoming impatient.
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    Love Means … NO SHAME

    “I love you, Tiger. All those other things I did before I met you pale by comparison. And when we’re done with our ride, I’m going to show you just how much I love you.”

    “Is that a promise?” Eli’s eyes were dancing again with that same delight that always made Geoff’s heart do little flips of excitement.
    “Tiger, that’s more than a promise. That’s a fact, so let’s enjoy our ride, and then we can enjoy our ride .” Geoff winked, and Eli’s eyes went wide as saucers. Geoff chuckled and flicked the reins, and Kirk took off like the hounds of hell were after him, with Eli and Twilight right behind him. Oh yeah, the wind on his body felt almost as good as Eli was going to feel in his arms. The thought drove him on, spurring his horse to let go and carry them across the field.
    “Whoa, Kirk.” Geoff pulled back on the reins to slow the horse, panting and laughing as Eli reined in right next to him. “Let’s get back. I have something special to show you.”
    “Special.” Those eyes sparkled. “Like a present?”
“Sort of, but better, much better.” Geoff was really liking the look in Eli’s eyes, sort of hungry, like he’d expect from his Tiger. “Race you back!” Eli winked and spurred Twilight on, racing back across the field, laughing and calling as he went.
    “Hey, that’s cheating!!” Geoff gave chase, giving Kirk his head. The only response he heard was a whoop and a laugh. They raced across the pasture, Eli in the lead with Geoff catching up fast, but then they reined in the horses and walked them to the barn, laughing. The horses were unsaddled in record time.
    When Geoff was done, he closed Kirk’s stall door and found Eli leaning by the barn door.
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“Took you long enough,” Eli said, those eyes just shining.
Geoff laughed, bent down, and hoisted Eli onto his shoulder. Eli’s feet were pumping, that tight body squirming.
    “You’re mine now, Tiger.” He patted Eli’s butt as he carried him across the yard, into the house, and up the stairs before flopping him on the bed. Eli laughed and bounced. “If you want your surprise, get yourself