Loving Spirit

she took off his rug. What was going to happen? Would it be like the night before? Would she be able to communicate with him and see his memories?
    She was so excited she found it hard to stand still. She tried touching his neck, but although he nuzzled her shoulders nothing happened. She moved impatiently to his head and stroked his face, waiting for some pictures to come into her mind. But none did. She ran her hands over him. Come on, come on , she thought. Talk to me, Spirit . But there was nothing. Eventually Ellie stood back, disappointment lying over her. It wasn’t happening.
    She tried to remember what she’d been doing when it had started the evening before. I was just standing with him , she realized, standing still .
    Spirit was pulling at his hay now. Ellie faced him, one hand either side of his neck as he pulled andchewed. Shutting her eyes, she breathed slowly in and out, until the impatience drained away and she was left with a feeling of calm. The space inside her where the energy had been buzzing filled with thoughts of Spirit.
    Breathe in. Breathe out .
    She thought about wanting to help him. Thought about wanting to take away his pain.
    Breathe in. Breathe out .
    Standing there, Ellie became vaguely aware that Spirit had stopped eating and was now standing still too. She could feel him breathing, her hands still resting on his neck. A warm glow seemed to wrap around them both.
    I’m here , she told him, the words coming from deep inside her without her even thinking about them. I’m listening .
    A connection surged between them again. Memories came into her mind. Like the night before, they weren’t hers, but she could see them as clearly as if they were. She saw the same mountainside and felt the weight of the man on her back again. She felt the rain driving down and the rough stony ground under her hooves.
    Was this where you were before you came here? she asked him.
    Yes .
    Ellie started, her eyes opening involuntarily. Shestared at Spirit. She had asked him a question and he had answered her!
    Pushing away her wonder, she shut her eyes and let her mind go blank again. The pictures filled it straight away. She saw a tumbledown row of stables, a steaming untidy muck heap sprawling over cobbles, a stony yard littered with weeds, loose straw and bale string. The yard was in a valley, with tracks leading up steep mountains. Horses hung their heads over the doors, not with pricked ears and eager expressions like the horses on her uncle’s yard – these horses looked empty-eyed and defeated. An aura of sadness and pain surrounded them all.
    In her mind, Ellie interpreted what she was seeing, turning the pictures into human words. It was a trekking centre in the mountains. You weren’t treated well , she thought to Spirit. You weren’t fed much, were you? You and the other horses were in pain and tired?
    Waves of energy rolled off Spirit as he answered her. Yes. Yes .
    More pictures shifted through Ellie’s brain as he showed her what it had been like. People coming to ride. Beginners who sat heavily in the saddle. The riding stable owner and a groom who worked for her, shouting at the horses. Never checking them for injuries or aches. Never offering them kindness. The only soft word coming from the occasional trekker who stroked them and offered love.
    I tried so hard . Ellie could feel deep in her heart what Spirit was saying. I wanted to be good .
    She could feel his hunger, feel his pain, feel the ill-fitting saddle pressing into his spine and the rub of the rough, grass-encrusted bit in his sensitive mouth. She could hear the shouts in his ears, while all the time he had just wanted to please. It was almost too much to bear.
    Instinctively she hugged him. Spirit pushed his nose against her back. She stood for a long moment, drawing up all the strength she had and trying to give it to him.
    After a few minutes he breathed out deeply, a sigh of release and relief.
    He stepped back and she felt the connection weaken. She knew he’d had enough for the moment.
    Ellie leant against the stable wall. Again she had the same feeling she’d had that morning, the feeling of life having somehow shifted. It was as though she was now looking at it from a different angle. She had no words to explain quite what was happening between them but she knew that her life would never be the same again.
    She was no longer standing on the edge of the precipice; she had well and truly jumped off.

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