Man 2.0 Engineering the Alpha

Because it’s through those failures and the lessons learned that I was forced to stray from conventional methods and to develop the information in this very book.

    CHANGING YOUR PERCEPTION
    The largest mistake I made was not a single event or decision but rather a misguided view of the world that led me through most of the early part of my life: a worldview made up of a strange mix of insecurity and narcissism. I was caught in a mind-set and a perspective through which I drew value only through external factors. This limited me in a number of profound ways, the most damaging of which was my assessment of self: my self-worth was based on other people—on what they thought and on measuring myself against them.
    When it came to anything, whether it was school, sports, or eventually work, I wasn’t concerned so much with how I was doing as I was with where I fell in a hierarchy—how I was doing compared to others.
    Of course, I didn’t really know I was doing this. I just knew that no matter how well I did, I never really felt satisfied. It wasn’t until I approached my late twenties, standing on a stage in my underwear, that I had an epiphany.
    Here’s how it happened: For a few years, I competed in bodybuilding, and although I won one of my shows and placed in the others, I found the competitions unsatisfying. I couldn’t figure out why—until my last contest. I was standing on stage with three other guys, all tanned and oiled up, flexing and posing and doing their best Arnold impressions. And suddenly, for no reason I can name, a switch flipped and it stopped being fun.
    Bodybuilding itself was enjoyable, but bodybuilding competitions did nothing for me. I began to realize that the idea of the competitions was what bothered me. It was the need to quantify and create competition in something that is very much an individualist endeavor. The dieting and extreme attention to detail appealed to me. Getting bigger than I had previously been was enticing and motivating. So was getting leaner. But comparing myself to other big or lean people wasn’t a draw. This was the first in a series of realizations that begat a paradigm shift and allowed me to see things differently.
    Up until that point, like many guys, I had been solely consumed with progress as it applied to advancement—within a sports team, a business setting, or even a social environment. I realized that I had fallen prey to the idea of beating everyone else.
    Wanting to be better than other people is a fundamentally bankrupt concept; you’ll quickly realize that you can’t be better than everyone in the world, not at everything—and if being better than others is the source from which you draw happiness, there is no scenario in which you’ll be truly happy. While that seems obvious to me now, it’s an idea that escaped me for much of my life. And I think it escapes many men worldwide.
    I was far too consumed with buying into the concept of what it meant to be the alpha male, when I should have been focused on becoming the Alpha me.

    REDEFINING THE ALPHA
    Before we move any farther, it’s important that you understand what we’re offering by transforming you into the Alpha. Like any partnership—and this is a partnership—there should be complete transparency for what’s at stake.
    We understand that the word Alpha carries with it certain connotations. And in order for you to fully grasp our meaning and definition, we must first strip away any preconceived thoughts that are tied to that term.
    The general perception of an alpha male is someone who’s, well, kind of an asshole. The guy who’s strong and confident but also domineering and cocky. As it is currently understood, the alpha male tears down others as a means to elevate his own status. We stereotype this archetype as the good-looking quarterback who picks on nerds. It’s the domineering middle management boss who publicly castigates his employees to assert his power. Of course, the stereotypical perception is not always the reality. A lot of quarterbacks are really nice guys. So are a lot of bosses.
    The alpha male—in current context—is a troubling mix of generally positive traits that are executed in a negative way. We see this manifest itself in many instances of life. The biggest and strongest kid in school chooses to become the bully rather than someone who sets the best example. The men from small beginnings work the hardest and rise to the top—only to forget their