Maskerade

bad as saying “poot!” You might as well paint WELCOME on yourself and lie down on the doorstep of the universe. It was no fun at all, having a wonderful personality. Oh…and good hair.
    And then she went and found pots for them anyway.
    The mirror dominated the room. It seemed to grow a little larger each time she looked at it.
    All right. She had to know, didn’t she?
    Heart pounding, she felt around the edges of it. There was a little raised area that might have looked like part of the frame, but as her fingers moved across it there was a “click” and the mirror swung inward a fraction of an inch. When she pushed at it, it moved.
    She breathed out. And stepped in.

    “It’s disgusting!” said Salzella. “It’s pandering to the most depraved taste!”
    Mr. Bucket shrugged. “It’s not as though we’re putting ‘Good Chance of Seeing Someone Throttled on Stage’ on the posters,” he said. “But news has got around. People like…drama.”
    “You mean the Watch didn’t want us to shut down?”
    “No. They just said we should mount guards like last night and they’d take steps.”
    “Steps to the nearest place of safety, no doubt.”
    “I don’t like it any more than you do, but it’s gone too far. We need the Watch now. Anyway, there’d be a riot if we closed. Ankh-Morpork has always enjoyed…excitement. We’re completely sold out. The show must go on.”
    “Oh, yes,” said Salzella nastily. “Would you like me to slit a few throats in the second act? Just so no one feels disappointed?”
    “Of course not,” said Bucket. “We don’t want any deaths. But…”
    The “but” hung in the air like the late Dr. Undershaft.
    Salzella threw up his hands.
    “Anyway, I believe we are past the worst,” said Mr. Bucket.
    “I hope so,” said Salzella.
    “Where’s Señor Basilica?” said Bucket.
    “Mrs. Plinge is showing him his dressing room.”
    “Mrs. Plinge hasn’t been murdered?”
    “No, no one has been found dead so far today,” said Salzella.
    “That is good news.”
    “Yes, and it must be, oh, at least ten past twelve,” said Salzella with an irony that Bucket quite failed to notice. “I will go and fetch him up so that we can have lunch, shall I? It must be a good half an hour since he had a snack.”
    Bucket nodded. After the director had gone he surreptitiously checked his desk drawers again. There was no letter. Perhaps it was over…Perhaps it was true what they were saying about the late doctor.
    Someone knocked at the door, four times. Only one person could achieve four knocks without any rhythm whatsoever.
    “Come in, Walter.”
    Walter Plinge stumbled into the room. “There’s a lady!” he said. “She’s to see Mr. Bucket!”
    Nanny Ogg poked her head around the door. “Coo-ee,” she said. “It’s only me.”
    “It’s…Mrs. Ogg, isn’t it?” said Mr. Bucket.
    There was something slightly worrying about the woman. He didn’t recall her name on the list of employees. On the other hand, she was clearly around the place, she wasn’t dead, and she made a decent cup of tea, so was it his worry if she wasn’t getting paid?
    “Good gracious, I’m not the lady ,” said Nanny Ogg. “I’m as common as muck, me, on the highest authority. No, she’s waiting down in the foyer. I thought I’d better nip around here and warn you.”
    “Warn me? Warn me about what? I don’t have any other appointments this morning. Who is this lady?”
    “Have you ever heard of Lady Esmerelda Weatherwax?”
    “No. Should I?”
    “Famous patron of the opera. Conservatories all over the place,” said Nanny. “Pots of money, too.”
    “Really? But I’m due to—”
    Bucket looked out of the window. There was a coach and four horses outside. It had so much rococo ornamentation on it that it was surprising it ever managed to move.
    “Well, I—” he began again. “It is really very incon—”
    “She ain’t the sort of person who likes to be kept waiting,” said Nanny, with absolute honesty. And then, because Granny had been getting on her nerves all morning and the initial embarrassment at Mrs. Palm’s still rankled and there was a streak of mischief in Nanny a mile wide, she added, “They say she was a famous courtesan in her younger days. They say she didn’t like to be kept waiting then, either. Retired now, of course. So they say.”
    “You know, I’ve visited most of the major opera houses and I’ve never heard the name,” mused Bucket.
    “Ah,