Me

I had to fulfill this duty, but I felt uncomfortable and could not enjoy this moment that according to my expectations was meant to be more romantic, with perhaps a bit more fireworks.
    She was a pretty girl and I liked her, but the truth is that there was no sense of closeness or intimacy between us, and that’s why I don’t think it was such a special experience. I remember I was left with a “That’s it?” kind of a feeling, and thought, “This is what everyone was talking about? Ugh, this is awful!” Obviously, it wasn’t the girl’s fault; it had to do with the circumstances at hand. I found the whole scenario uncomfortable and even a bit funny. I am sure there are many more people, be they gay or straight, who can identify with their first time not being so special . . . and how could it be, when we have no idea what we are doing? It goes without saying that later on I encountered women with whom I felt things and had an amazing connection, and when I discovered the intense sensation that can be shared by a man and woman during sex, I was able to be with more women and take pleasure in their company.

THE END OF ANERA
    MENUDO, IN THE meantime, continued to release albums and go on tour. Even though superficially the group and I seemed to be doing well, on the inside both of us had problems. By 1987, the group’s album sales were starting to fall and we had to switch record labels. Eventually, these problems made us have to change our image completely. Our costumes and hairstyles became more “rock” and our music changed as well: We left pop music behind to dedicate ourselves to a harder genre. We released the album Somos los Hijos del Rock in Spanish, and for the fans in the Philippines we did a version entitled In Action , which had songs in English and Tagalog. Shortly after, we released an album in English called Sons of Rock , which resulted in another hit, called “You Got Potential.” The success led us on a forty-city tour throughout the United States. It was a very exciting phase because we were able to reinvent ourselves to reach our fans through a different kind of music.
    What did not change during those years was our way of working. Of the many things I learned in Menudo, the discipline is what has had the greatest impact on my career and character. We never said no. It did not matter what they asked of us; the response was always positive. We would say, “Yes, let’s do it!” and we would take off to wherever for whatever—a promotional appearance, a radio station interview, signing autographs for fans at a record store, rehearsing—we would always jump at the opportunity. Many times we would do all these things on the same day. We would start at dawn on a radio station; we would run to photo shoots with the press, from there to the record store, and later to a hospital for a charitable appearance, and then to the rehearsal and sound check for that night’s show. It was exhausting. Many times we would work for fourteen hours, five or six days straight, and on the seventh day we would get on a plane or bus to head to another city.
    I worked so intensely when I was in Menudo that by the last year I was already fed up with being in the band. I still loved the performances, the music, and being onstage; but to be completely honest, I was simply exhausted. I just couldn’t take it anymore. The band manager asked me to stay for one more year because some of the other boys were leaving the group at the time, and even though it was something I really didn’t feel like doing, I said yes. My original contract with the band was for three years, but I had already spent four years with them. That last year made it five years total.
    The truth is, I only stayed because I had a lot of respect and love for both the band and the crew. Obviously, after spending years on the road together, we had become a family. Besides the professional relationship we developed, we also had a lot of care for one another, and I did not want to leave them hanging at a moment when they needed me. So I stayed for one more year, but on my own terms, which I insisted on, and which they were willing to accept. When I began with Menudo, there were only two of us in the group who spoke English. So the other boy and I were the ones called on every time we had to do an interview in English, and in the meantime the other boys were allowed to stay in the hotel room, relaxing and watching TV. That didn’t seem fair to me.