Much Obliged, Jeeves

Ganymede Club book had been squashed there was just a possibility that the eloquence of Spode might get his nose in front.
    All this while I had been trying to cut in with my opening remark, which was to the effect that the current situation was a bit above the odds, but it was only when I had repeated this for the third time that I succeeded in obtaining her attention.
    ‘This is a bit thick, what,’ I said, varyihg my approach slightly.
    She seemed surprised as if the idea had not occurred to her.
    ‘Thick?’
    ‘Well, isn’t it?
    ‘ ‘Why? If you were listening, you heard her say that, being a fair fighter, she had scorned the tempter and sent him away with a flea in his ear, which must be a most uncomfortable thing to have. Bingley was baffled.’
    ‘Only for the nonce.’
    ‘Nonsense.’
    ‘Not nonsense, nonce, which isn’t at all the same thing. I feel that Bingley, though crushed to earth, will rise again. How about if he sells that book with all its ghastly contents to the Market Snodsbury Argus-Reminder?’
    I was alluding to the powerful bi-weekly sheet which falls over itself in its efforts to do down the Conservative cause, omitting no word or act to make anyone with Conservative leanings feel like a piece of cheese. Coming out every Wednesday and Saturday with proofs of Ginger’s past, I did not see how it could fail to give his candidature the sleeve across the windpipe.
    I put this to the old blood relation in no uncertain terms. I might have added that that would wipe the silly smile off her face, but there was no necessity. She saw at once that I spoke sooth, and a crisp hunting-field expletive escaped her. She goggled at me with all the open dismay of an aunt who has inadvertently bitten into a bad oyster.
    ‘I never thought of that ! ‘
    ‘Give it your attention now.’
    ‘Those Argus-Reminder hounds stick at nothing.’
    ‘The sky is notoriously their limit.’
    ‘Did you tell me Ginger had done time?’
    ‘I said he was always in the hands of the police on Boat Race night. And, of course, on Rugger night.’
    ‘What’s Rugger night?’
    ‘The night of the annual Rugby football encounter between the universities of Oxford and Cambridge. Many blithe spirits get even more effervescent then than when celebrating the boat race. Ginger was one of them.’
    ‘He really got jugged?’
    ‘Invariably. His practice of pinching policemen’s helmets insure this. Released next morning on payment of a fine, but definitely after spending the night in a dungeon cell.’
    There was no doubt that I had impressed on her the gravity of the situation. She gave a sharp cry like that of a stepped-on dachshund, and her face took on the purple tinge it always assumes in moments of strong emotion.
    ‘This does it! ‘
    ‘Fairly serious, I agree.’
    ‘Fairly serious! The merest whisper of such goings-on will be enough to alienate every voter in the town. Ginger’s done for.’
    ‘You don’t think they might excuse him because his blood was young at the time?’
    ‘Not a hope. They won’t be worrying about his ruddy blood. You don’t know what these blighters here are like. Most of them are chapel folk with a moral code that would have struck Torquemada as too rigid.’
    ‘Torquemada? ‘
    ‘The Spanish Inquisition man.’
    ‘Oh, that Torquemada?’
    ‘How many Torquemadas did you think there were?’
    I admitted that it was not a common name, and she carried on.
    ‘We must act! ‘
    ‘But how?’
    ‘Or, rather, you must act. You must go to this man and reason with him.’ I h’med a bit at this. I doubted whether a fellow with Bingley’s lust for gold would listen to reason.
    ‘What shall I say?’
    ‘You’ll know what to say.’
    ‘Oh, shall I?’
    ‘Appeal to his better instincts.’
    ‘He hasn’t got any.’
    ‘Now don’t make difficulties, Bertie. That’s your besetting sin, always arguing. You want to help Ginger, don’t you? ‘
    ‘Of course I do.’
    ‘Very well, then.’
    When an aunt has set her mind on a thing, it’s no use trying to put in a nolle prosequi. I turned to the door. Half way there a thought occurred to me. I said:
    ‘How about Jeeves?’
    ‘What about him?’
    ‘We ought to spare his feelings as far as possible. I repeatedly warned him that that club book was highlevel explosive and ought not to be in existence. What if it fell into the wrong hands, I said, and he said it couldn’t possibly fall into the wrong hands. And now it has fallen