My Butterfly

her face before I returned my attention to the guardian angel in my hand.
    “So, how long are you in town?” I asked.
    “Just today actually,” she said.
    My smile instantly faded.
    “Well, maybe I could come up and see you some time, and we could go get dinner or something,” I said.
    I lifted my head just as her eyes were starting to light up, but then something happened. And I watched the green in her eyes grow dim and her smile too start to fade. My heart sank.
    “It could be just as friends,” I quickly said.
    Her expression didn’t change, and my heart sank even further into my chest. I knew she wanted to tell me something—that thing she had been hiding.
    “What is it, Jules?” I asked, too impatient to wait for her to get it out on her own.
    “I just don’t think that dinner is such a good idea, Will,” she said, tossing her stare to the table’s surface.
    I furrowed my brows.
    “Why not?” I asked.
    She seemed to pause, and then she found my eyes again.
    “I’m seeing someone,” she said.
    Just like that, the words had come out as if they were a death sentence.
    “What do you mean you’re seeing someone?” I asked.
    I slid back into my chair and tried to replace a dagger to the heart with a smug smile.
    “You mean, like you see someone every day in a line to get coffee or something or like you’re seeing ghosts or something?” I asked.
    She sarcastically batted her eyelashes.
    “I mean I’m dating someone,” she said. “His name is Brady, and he’s on the track team, and he…”
    “Okay, okay,” I interrupted her. “I get it.”
    She stopped short, and after a long moment, I slumped back in my chair, then brought my elbows to the table and rested my forehead in my hands.
    “Sorry,” I said, lifting my head from my hands. “So, what does he do?”
    “What?” she asked.
    “What does this guy you’re ‘seeing’ do?” I asked, making sure to use my fingers as quotation marks in the appropriate place.
    “He’s a sophomore,” she said. “He’s pre-med. He wants to be a doctor.”
    I let my head fall back at her mention of the word doctor.
    “A doctor, Jules?” I asked. “Of course,” I said, under my breath.
    She shot me a puzzled look.
    “You know the divorce rates for doctors?” I asked. “You don’t want to marry him.”
    I watched her dramatically sigh.
    “Will, no one said anything about marrying anyone,” she said. “And besides, like your job’s much better. I can’t even count the number of times you left me somewhere when your tones went off or the hours we missed because of them.”
    “I always left you with someone we knew, Jules,” I reminded her. “You make it sound like I left you on the side of the road somewhere.”
    I watched her take a deep breath, close her eyes and then smile.
    “Will,” she said, “we don’t have to fight like this anymore.”
    “Anymore?” I asked. “Jules, we never fought, and we’re not fighting now. We’re just discussing our differences, like how you’re fond of doctors, and I’m not.”
    She took another deep breath, and her smile turned soft.
    “Really?” she asked. “Because it sounds a lot like a certain night that I remember not so long ago.”
    I stared at her, trying desperately to find the meaning in her riddle.
    “Come on, Jules, don’t even bring that night up,” I eventually said, recalling our breakup, and at the same time, running my hand through my hair. “I hate that night.”
    “That makes two of us, so let’s just agree to not fight anymore,” she said.
    She was still wearing a smile, but it looked fake.
    I stared into her eyes for a minute and then finally forced a grin too.
    “Fine,” I said, “no more fighting. Let’s talk about you instead.”
    A sincere smile came to life on her face again.
    “What about me?” she asked.
    “Well, how’s school?” I asked.
    “It’s good,” she said, nodding her head. “It’s just prerequisites and electives. Nothing too exciting.”
    “What about track?” I asked.
    She smiled wider.
    “What is it?” I asked.
    “My time dropped two seconds,” she said.
    “I knew it,” I exclaimed, as I leaned back against the chair and smiled. “What did I tell you?”
    “I know,” she said, starting to laugh.
    “What about you?” she asked.
    “Well,” I said, trying hard to censor the parts where I sulk most nights thinking of her, “I got a job on the department in St. Louis.”
    “Wow, that’s great, Will,” she