Naamah's Blessing

dreamers, men who would shape it to their own ends. But it needs those who would keep them in check, too. The world needs its courtesans.” She touched my cheek. “And the world needs its bear-witches, my lovely savage. You won’t withdraw from it like the rest of your folk, will you?”
    “No,” I said. “I have an oath to keep. Assuming we
do
return safely, I will divide my time between Alba and Terre d’Ange, but I will remain a part of Desirée’s life, I promise.”
    “I’m glad.” Jehanne took my arm. In unspoken accord, we strolledalong between the rows of tall stalks. She gave me a sparkling sidelong glance. “To think I set out to seduce you out of spite all those years ago!”
    I laughed. “To think I knew, and let you.”
    “Oh, please!” She squeezed my arm. “You never had a chance. Naamah’s gift runs far, far too strong in you.”
    “In both of us,” I said.
    “You put it to better use.” Jehanne’s lips quirked. “Though it shames me to admit it, it’s true.”
    I shook my head. “You have no cause for shame.”
    She walked a few paces in silence. “Would that it were true,” she said at length. “But I made choices I regret. I spent far too much time being foolish and petty, indulging my every whim and desire. I abetted Terre d’Ange’s descent into… what did Thierry call it? Idle frivolity.”
    “You were young,” I murmured.
    Jehanne shot me a look at once fond and wry. “I was your age now when first we met, Moirin. Look at what you’ve done.”
    “Aye, and I am here because of the foolish choices I made when I was even younger,” I said mildly. “You never unleashed a fallen spirit on the world, my lady.”
    She tilted her head again. “How is it you always know the right thing to say to comfort me?”
    “I come from a long line of royal companions,” I said.
    “True. Naamah chose wisely when she sent your father to your mother.” Jehanne paused to stroke a
maize
leaf. Her tone shifted as she glanced at me, the expression on her lovely face turning vulnerable. “Moirin, I’m scared.”
    I halted and took her hands. “Of what?”
    “Of what comes next.” Tears shone in her starry eyes. “It’s absurd, I know. For so long… has it been a long time? It’s so hard to tell here, but it feels like it. I’ve been trapped
between,
waiting for this moment to come, and it’s been so lonely, so very lonely. But now that it’s finally here, I’m frightened.” Freeing one hand, she wiped her eyes. “I don’timagine I’ll be passing through the bright gate into Terre d’Ange-that-lies-beyond. What if I’m reborn into the world forgetting all I’ve learned? What if Daniel and Raphael are waiting for me to make the same mistakes all over again?”
    “You won’t.” I pressed her hand between mine. “Jehanne, you answered your own question.”
    “I did?”
    “Aye,” I said. “You told Raphael we break each other’s hearts, but we mend them, too. Trust yourself.” I smiled. “You were always a great deal kinder and wiser than you pretended.”
    There was sorrow in her smile. “So you always said.”
    “Because it’s true.”
    “My beautiful girl.” Jehanne touched my cheek again. “Once more, you find the right thing to say.”
    “I quoted
you
,” I reminded her.
    “So you did.” Leaning forward, she brushed my lips with a kiss. “You are the one love I have no cause to regret, Moirin. But for all that Naamah has blessed you, you’ll not be taking the same journey when the time comes, will you? Your final destiny lies with your bear-goddess.”
    “Aye,” I said. “But I would not be so sure it is the
final
destiny, my lady. Master Lo Feng said that all ways lead to the Way, and he was the wisest man I’ve ever met.” I nodded at the rustling rows of
maize
. “Were it not for his teaching, I would not have had the strength to do this thing.” Taking a deep breath, I continued. “And I believe it is possible that there is somewhat that lies beyond even the Terre d’Ange-that-lies-beyond, beyond the presence of the Maghuin Dhonn Herself, a vastness beyond men and gods and heavens, wherein all of us are part of a greater whole.”
    “It’s a lovely notion,” Jehanne murmured. “Do you suppose it’s true?”
    “I don’t know,” I said. “I hope so.”
    “I shall choose to believe it,” she said firmly. “Because it is preferable to believing in a world in which our paths never cross again, Moirinmac Fainche.”