Naked Hero - The Journey Away

mollified to a degree. Then with a barely audible laugh, he added, “At least you’re being up front about what you are and do - which is more than I can say for the lying toe-rag that sold his story to the Herald.”
    Lee got back on the stool, using the opportunity to move a little closer so that their arms were almost touching. “Hmmph!” he grunted with a shake of his head. “That was a bit naughty... and the first bloke to do so unless I’m mistaken.”
    “I usually judge better... Not that... well, not wanting to sound like a parrot, but the tour – I don’t get out anywhere near as much as I’d like to. Unlike you I would imagine – I bet your life is one long riot of men and parties.”
    Lee made no immediate response. He was weighing up the words and the tone in which they were said. The burden Lewis carried was coming over loud and clear. The opportunity he represented was sadly very different - that little piece of scandal had muddied the waters and placed the tennis player on a heightened state of alert. He would not fall so easily into another honey trap if that was what Lee chose to try.
    “It’s not anywhere near as glamorous as you might think,” Lee finally answered, a sheepish expression creeping over his face. “And usually I’m too exhausted to take advantage of the offers... But is it really the case for you – the tour keeping you away from the gay scene and all the men you could have? I mean... No, I shouldn’t ask. It’s none of my business, and it sounds like I’m going back on what I just said.”
    “What?” prompted Lewis, curiosity getting the better of him.
    “Well – it’s just... I don’t understand why you decided to come out then to all intents and purposes and went back into the closet. I mean, what was the point if you can’t go out and enjoy yourself and sleep with whoever you choose?”
    A flash of anger cut Lewis’s face – a raw nerve well and truly touched. “I didn’t go back into the closet!”
    “But you hide yourself away,” Lee persisted - not backing down like most people would in the presence of a temperamental star. “Okay, so maybe you occasionally hit the bars in foreign parts, but never in England... or Britain should I say.”
    Lewis bristled again, another raw nerve unconsciously touched. “England’s fine!” he snapped; then annoyed with himself and the direction they were going in, he found a modicum of control. “I haven’t been to Scotland in a while, and it would take a hell of a good reason to entice me back there... But you’re right – I don’t go out on the English scene. One bad experience was more than enough to put me off it... And the paparazzi back there would crucify me. They’ve been waiting for me to trip up and I won’t give them the satisfaction. They write enough shit about me without actually giving them some substance... So yeah, you’re right... What was the point? It didn’t improve my sex life as I can’t trust a soul, but it screwed up my career in right royal fashion. That’s the price of honesty in the twenty-first century. Feel free to quote me in your blog or whatever.”
    Following the mini outburst, silence sat at the bar with them for an awkward moment - Lewis staring at his drink, Lee gazing at Lewis in a piece of déjà vu. The tension was broken by the resting of a hand on Lewis’s arm. The young Scotsman looked at it, and on this occasion the hand was not removed, instead it gently clutched in a gesture of compassion.
    “Sorry,” Lewis offered, feeling like a twat.
    “Don’t be. I can understand. It must be hard not being able to trust people. And I won’t be quoting. I won’t write anything about you, Lewis. Believe me! I won’t.”
    Hearing these words, Lewis looked into the blue eyes, only inches away. He felt their power again and the subtlest suggestion – Lee raising the stakes, realising time was running out. And Lewis felt the temptation to yield and succumb - to embrace this opportunity with a figure of fantasy – The Body Perfect Englishman. And if it had been a few days ago he would have seized the chance, but sadly things had changed and questions raged in his mind. Did he believe him? Did it really matter? The answer was no - at least on the last count, if not the first. Lewis wouldn’t let it matter. This predatory shark, magnificent specimen that he was, could go and feast elsewhere tonight, assuming the poor thing wasn’t ‘too exhausted’ – an