Nightside 11 - A Hard Days Knight

sword was still invisible to anyone except its bearer. I felt distinctly jealous. It was my sword, dammit. And then Merlin turned his head abruptly and looked out of the Vision right at me, his blazing eyes widening in recognition. I shut the Vision down immediately, along with my Sight. I’d Seen enough.
    I told Suzie about the Vision, and she nodded thoughtfully as we continued up the hill towards Camelot.
    “No protections?” she said finally. “No defences at all?”
    “Nothing magical,” I said. “But who knows how many more dark knights Merlin has at his command, now that he’s made himself King.”
    “And he definitely Saw you, through the Vision? He knows we’re coming?”
    “Yes. Which could be a good thing ...”
    “Oh, do go on. I can’t wait to hear this one.”
    “If he knows we’re coming, it could distract him from making a deal with Stark.”
    “That’s what I love about you, John. Always the optimist.”
    We laughed briefly together and continued on up the hill. The higher we rose, the further I could see out across the land. The rows of Wicker Men were still burning fiercely, pumping black smoke and ashes up into the sky. Huge bat-winged shapes flapped slowly through the clouds, lean and vicious things. They weren’t dragons. Something else Merlin had summoned up from Hell? I pointed them out to Suzie, and she smiled and said something about target practice.

    When we finally got to the castle, we found ourselves facing two huge steel doors, great featureless slabs of gleaming metal, thirty feet tall and twenty wide, that were the only way in. I looked the doors over, but there was no knocker or bell-pull anywhere. The blank metal walls on both sides seemed to stretch away forever, towering high above us, without so much as a single arrow slit to relieve the monotony. Suzie did offer to try her shotgun on the door, and I said some very loud things about ricochets. While we were still arguing, the great metal doors swung slowly back, opening wide enough to allow a single knight in dark armour to march out to join us. Suzie and I immediately stopped arguing and glared at him, and he stopped dead in his tracks. Behind the narrow slit in the front of his helmet, his gaze was suddenly uncertain.
    “Hi,” I said. “I’m John Taylor, and this is Suzie Shooter. Be impressed, or we’ll take you apart with a can-opener.”
    “Doesn’t it get hot inside all that armour?” said Suzie. “You can take it off if you want. It wouldn’t protect you from us anyway.”
    “Please don’t kill him yet, Suzie,” I said. “He’s the only guide we’ve got. I don’t want to end up wandering through this bloody place with a map in my hand. You are here to guide us, aren’t you? Speak up!”
    “Yes,” said the knight. “I’m ... uh ...”
    “Get on with it,” I said ruthlessly. “And get a move on. We’re expected.”
    “Merlin Satanspawn demands you attend him in the Great Hall,” said the knight, getting the words out in a rush so as to be rid of them as quickly as possible.
    “Good,” said Suzie. “We want to see him. We have a lot to talk about. Don’t stand too close, and you won’t get blood and innards all over your armour.”
    “He’s going to kill both of you,” said the knight. “And I’ll get to watch.”
    “And you were doing so well,” I said.
    “How do you take a piss in that outfit anyway?” said Suzie, looking the armour over critically. “Have you got a trap-door, or something? Doesn’t it get rusty?”
    The knight turned his back on us and stomped off through the doors. Suzie and I wandered after him, taking our time. The courtyard beyond the gates was full of men, women, and children, all of them impaled on long metal spikes. Hundreds of them, filling the courtyard from wall to wall. All of them still alive, kept alive and suffering. Suzie and I stopped short, and the great metal doors slammed shut behind us. The knight looked back at us, smirking behind his helmet.
    “See? Not so funny now, are you?”
    Suzie and I surged forward and hit him together, bowling him off his feet and slamming him onto the courtyard floor. Suzie knelt on his chest and stuck the barrel of her shotgun right into the slit opening of his helmet. I put a hand on her arm.
    “Don’t kill him, Suzie. Not yet.” I looked at the knight. “You—arsehole. Tell me what’s happening here.”
    “You wouldn’t dare shoot me,” said the knight.
    “You really don’t know