No Peace for the Damned

moment before he finally turned away. Softly, he closed the door behind him.
    I fell back against the pillows. I hadn’t even realized that I’d leaned toward him.

In my dream, there was only red now—crimson and salty—full of power and rage and rightness. In this dream I knew myself. I knew my likes and dislikes, my strengths and weaknesses—every nuance of the emotions and power within me. There was no more confusion, no more doubt. I pulsed with the certainty that I was everything I was meant to be. Complete in every way. And I totally welcomed it.
    The crimson deepened and expanded, soaking into my skin like a sponge and turning my flesh a deeper, purplish pink.
    Utter bliss.
    My body relaxed as my powers swelled. My muscles flexed and my bones shifted. But there was no pain. I was being molded. And that was just fine.
    A flash of light burst from my chest, but the crimson thickened, began to coagulate. On reflex, I pulled against it, but its solid grip tightened. Quiet uncertainty stirred. The crimson wasacting on its own, struggling against my pull, and I struggled to wake myself, but the dream itself did the same, resisting me.
    Another golden flash.
    My chest clenched tighter than ever, and I gasped as a clarity approached my consciousness. All those flashes of color I’d seen while awake—it wasn’t part of the dream at all. It was a part of
me
. It was the fear and the rage and the pain, welling up and taking me over.
    Thirteen’s face appeared before me. What was this? There had never been people in my dreams before. I lifted a hand to wave him over but the red held me tight. Then he turned to me. His hands clasped the sides of his head, his eyes poured red, adding to the sea of red around me. Blood. And I was reveling in it.
    I pulled again, this time with force. It still wouldn’t give. Theo appeared then.
Oh God
. And Heather. They reached for me, red spilling from their fingers, their throats, their mouths. The rightness and fulfillment I’d felt earlier vanished, shut off like a light. The red magnified, nearly purple now. My flesh blackened as the blood continued to fill me from the outside in.
    Another flash of light shot out.
I
was still here, still in control. I gathered strength from every piece of energy I had left. I would
not
hurt them. I would
not
let the red take me. With one final pull I wrenched myself free.
    I awoke, gasping, my body shaking violently. My heart pounded in my chest. Evil pulsed deep inside me. And if I let it, it would carry me away.
    I put a hand to my head just to make sure it was still attached and felt that I was soaked in sweat. The backs of Theo’s fingers brushed along my neck. I jumped with a yelp. He crouched beside the bed, frowning at my panic. The vision from my dreams pierced my mind—his pain, his blood. All from somewhereinside me. I shut my eyes tight. When I opened them, he was still there, frowning harder.
    Theo’s sun-kissed hair framed his face. His eyes looked even deeper and more beautiful than usual. Slowly, his presence calmed my racing pulse. I could breathe deeply now.
    I leaned back against the pillows. He reached out again, his hand moving with me as I lay back down. His fingers gently traced a path along my jawline. The movement was so natural, he didn’t even realize he was doing it.
    “Everyone’s gone,” he said quietly. “You want to hear about the next plan of action?”
    I shook my head
no
before he even stopped talking.
    I didn’t want to think about what was coming or who we were targeting next. I didn’t want to know the Network’s next plan to use me for my powers. I didn’t want to think about the blood in my dream or how wonderful and right it felt to soak myself in it. He kicked off his shoes at the foot of the bed. Then he looked back at me with a new hesitation in his eyes.
    I took him in, his perfect tan and his tight T-shirt that emphasized the definition of his chest. I sat up and pulled the sheet back on the side closest to him. Then I relaxed back into the pillows and watched the smoothness of his muscles flex and ripple as he slid under the sheet next to me. His clothes were still on and he had yet to touch me, but my entire body grew warm and tensed in places I didn’t know could tense. But when he reached out and touched my chin again, this time lifting my face to meet his eyes, my body released itself.
    He held my face with the touch of his fingers. I closed my eyes and turned my head into his