Not Dead Enough

make-up, adding some colouring to the woman’s cheeks, tidying her hair, making her look as if she was just having a little nap.
    At the same time, Darren began the process of cleaning up the post-mortem room around Katie Bishop’s trolley. He squirted lemon-scented disinfectant on to the floor, scrubbing that in, then bleach, then Trigene disinfectant and finally Autoclave.
    An hour later, laid out beneath a purple shroud, with her arms crossed and a small bunch of fresh pink and white roses in her hand, Darren wheeled Katie Bishop into the viewing room, a small, narrow area with a long window, and just enough space for loved ones to stand around the corpse. It felt a little like a chapel, with dinky blue curtains, and instead of an altar, there was a small vase of plastic flowers.

    Grace and Branson stood outside the room, observing through the glass window, as Brian Bishop was led in by WPC Linda Buckley, an alert, pleasant-looking woman in her mid-thirties, with short blonde hair, dressed in a sober dark blue two-piece and white blouse.
    They watched him stare at the dead woman’s face, then rummage under the shroud, pull out her hand, kiss it, then grip it tightly. Tears streamed down Bishop’s face. Then he fell to his knees, totally overcome with grief.
    It was at moments like this, and Grace had experienced far too many in his long career, that he wished he was anything but a police officer. One of his mates from school had gone into banking and was now a building society branch manager in Worthing, enjoying a good salary and a relaxed life. Another operated fishing trips from Brighton Marina, without an apparent care in the world.
    Grace watched, unable to switch his emotions off, unable to stop himself feeling the man’s grief in every cell of his own body. It was all he could do to stop crying himself.
    ‘Shit, he’s hurting,’ Glenn said quietly to him.
    Grace shrugged, the cop inside him speaking, rather than his heart. ‘Maybe.’
    ‘Jesus, you’re a hard bastard.’
    ‘Didn’t used to be,’ Grace said. ‘Wasn’t until I let you drive me. Needed to be a hard bastard to survive that.’
    ‘Very funny.’
    ‘So did you pass your Advanced Police Driving test?’
    ‘I failed, right?’
    ‘Really?’
    ‘Yeah. For driving too slowly. Can you believe that?’
    ‘Me, believe that?’
    ‘Jesus, you hack me off. You’re always the same. Every time I ask you a question you answer with a question. Can’t you ever stop being a bloody detective?’
    Grace smiled.
    ‘It’s not funny. Yeah? I asked you a simple question, can you believe I got failed for driving too slowly?’
    ‘Nah.’ And he really could not! Grace remembered the last time Glenn had driven him, when his friend had been practising his high-speed driving for his test. When Grace had climbed out of the car with all his limbs intact – more by luck than by anything to do with driving skills – he had decided he would prefer to have his gall bladder removed without an anaesthetic than be driven in earnest by Glenn Branson again.
    ‘For real, man,’ Branson said.
    ‘Good to know there are still some sane people in the world.’
    ‘Know your problem, Detective Superintendent Roy Grace?’
    ‘Which particular problem?’
    ‘The one you have about my driving?’
    ‘Tell me.’
    ‘No faith.’
    ‘In you or in God?’
    ‘God stopped that bullet from doing serious harm to me.’
    ‘You really believe that, don’t you?’
    ‘You have a better theory?’
    Grace fell silent, thinking. He always found it easier to park his God questions safely away and to think about them only when it suited him. He wasn’t an atheist, not even really an agnostic. He did believe in something – or at least he wanted to believe in something – but he could never define exactly what. He always fell short of being able to openly accept the concept of God. And then immediately after that he would feel guilty. But ever since Sandy had disappeared, and all his prayers had gone unanswered, much of his faith had eroded.
    Shit happened.
    As a policeman, a big part of his duty was to establish the truth. The facts . Like all his fellow officers, his beliefs were his own affair. He watched Brian Bishop, on the other side of the window. The man was totally grief-stricken.
    Or putting on a great act.
    He would soon know which.
    Except, wrong though it was, because it was personal, Sandy had priority in his mind right now.

24
    Skunk was tempted to