Notorious Nineteen

count on in Trenton, it’s crime.”
    We had half a pizza left over, and I thought it would be a nice gesture to take it to Susan Cubbin. And while we were at it we could see if anything interesting was going on with Nurse Norma.

SIXTEEN
    THE VAN WAS still parked across from Norma’s condo, and Susan was behind the wheel. She was smoking, staring straight ahead, eyes glazed.
    “Hey,” I said. “How’s it going?”
    “It’s not going,” she said. “My ass is asleep from sitting here.”
    “We had pizza for lunch and we couldn’t finish it. You want some?”
    “Sure.”
    I passed the pizza box to her through the open window. “Any change in Norma’s routine? Has she had any visitors?”
    “No. And no.”
    “Are you here 24/7?” Lula asked. “Where do you go to the bathroom?”
    “I go home when she goes to work. I figure Jerkface is sleeping then and isn’t going to be out walking around.”
    “Jerkface as in Geoffrey?” I asked her.
    “Yeah. Jerkface Geoffrey.” She opened the lid on the pizza box and looked inside. “What’s on this?”
    “Everything,” I said.
    Susan finished her cigarette, tore a chunk of pizza off for the cat, and ate the rest of the slice.
    “I know he’s in there,” she said. “The shades are never raised. I can practically smell him from here.”
    “That’s a long way to smell someone,” Lula said. “He must be a real stinker.”
    “I’m tired of sitting here,” Susan said. “I’m going in tonight. Soon as she leaves, I’m breaking in.”
    “Do you know how to do that?” Lula asked. “No offense but you’re sort of a amateur.”
    “I watched a video on YouTube. It’s easy. It’s called lock bumping. I’m all set with a key from the hardware store that’s been filed down. And then all I have to do is hit it with a hammer.”
    “God bless YouTube,” Lula said. “You don’t even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.”
    “She’s going to come out any minute,” Susan said. “You should go away or hide or something so you don’t spook her.”
    Lula and I went back to the Mercedes and waited. After ten minutes Nurse Norma stepped out of her front door, lockedit, got into her sporty car, and drove off. When she was out of sight Lula and I returned to Susan.
    “Let’s do it,” Lula said to Susan. “Let’s root out Jerkface.”
    Susan fished the bump key out of her purse. “Are you coming with me?”
    “Hell yeah,” Lula said. “Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.”
    Susan cracked a window for the cat, and we all marched across the parking area to Norma’s condo.
    “I’ve never done this before,” Susan said, “but it didn’t look hard on the video.”
    “I’ve done it lots of times,” Lula said. “I used to always break a window to get in, and sometimes when I’m not prepared ahead I still do that, but mostly I bump the lock now.”
    Susan stuck the key into the lock, tapped it with the hammer, and turned. Nothing.
    “You gotta have a knack,” Lula said. “Try again. You’ll get the feel of it.”
    The lock tumbled on the third try.
    “I did it!” Susan said.
    “This could be the start of a whole new career for you,” Lula said. “Being able to bump a lock opens up lots of financial choices.”
    “None of which are legal,” I said.
    “It’s legal for us ,” Lula said.
    I flicked the lights on. “Sometimes.”
    Susan still had the hammer in her hand. “Stand back. I’m going on a Geoffrey hunt, and when I find him I’m going tohit him with this hammer until he tells me where he hid the money.”
    We moved out of the small foyer into the living room. The furniture looked comfortable. Lots of shades of beige. Dark wood tables. Beanpot lamps. An orange chenille throw on the couch.
    “This looks like a page out of a Pottery Barn catalog,” Lula said. “I recognize all this. I get that catalog in the mail.”
    Susan stalked her prey through the rest of the house. She had steely eyes and a white-knuckle grip on her hammer. She opened closet doors and looked under beds, and swore when there was no Geoffrey cowering behind Norma’s pink fuzzy bathrobe.
    “If she finds her husband you might want to jump in and take control before she splits his head open like it was a walnut,” Lula whispered to me.
    I didn’t think she was going to find her husband. I could pretty much tell from the living room that there wasn’t a man in residence. No size 12 running