Nude Men

when Charlotte has left for work, I get my locks changed. I take all of Charlotte’s belongings and put them in the hallway outside my door. I then call the veterinarian and make an appointment for the following day. And then I call the telephone company to have my number changed. They will change it in three days. Better than never.
     
    I go to work. I will ask them today. How should I act? Strong and confident? Or nice and charming and humble? Asking for a promotion is in itself a strong and confident thing to do, so maybe I should be nice and charming in the execution of that act.
    I knock on my superior’s open door.
    “Yes?” he says.
    “Do you have a minute? I’d like to talk to you,” I ask, smiling.
    “Okay.”
    I sit across from him and wipe my moist palms on my knees. Annie comes in to arrange some books on the shelves. It disturbs me that she’s here, but my superior pays no attention to her and waits for me to talk, so I begin. “I feel that I have paid my dues,” I tell him. “I’ve filed for a long time. I’ve done a little fact checking, but not much. I was wondering if I could get a promotion.” I glance at Annie. She glances back at me with skepticism; perhaps even contempt; at the very least condescension.
    “Really?” asks my boss, looking surprised.
    “Yes. Why do you seem surprised?”
    “I don’t know. To what position would you like to get promoted?”
    “I guess full-time fact checker. At least.”
    He nods thoughtfully. “I’ll have to discuss this with Cathryn,” he says. Cathryn is the editor in chief. “I’ll let you know what she decides.”
    “Okay,” I say, wiping my palms on my trousers once more and getting up. “Well, thank you. I appreciate it.” I nod to him and leave the room.
    I file nervously, telling myself not to be nervous. The worst they can say is “no,” right? And why would they say that? I’m a nice person and I file well. I may be meek and boring, but certainly no one can say I am not nice. Prepare yourself for a long wait, I tell myself. Don’t expect them to get back to you today. And probably not tomorrow either. It may take a week before they give you their answer. They may even forget. I’ll have to remind them, if they haven’t gotten back to me in a week.
    Time flies more quickly than usual. About two hours later, Annie comes to me and says, “He can see you in his office now.”
    “Oh, okay,” I answer, dazed.
    She follows me into the office and again arranges the books on the shelves.
    I sit across from my boss.
    “I just spoke with Cathryn,” he says, “and after some deliberation, we both agreed that your services are no longer needed.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “We would appreciate getting your resignation tomorrow morning, if that is convenient for you.”
    “I’m willing to keep on filing.”
    “That is not convenient for us. We would prefer to get your resignation. We would be grateful.”
    “Why? What made you decide this?”
    “My talk with Cathryn. We discussed your proposal and came to the conclusion that actually we do not need you for filing any more than we need you for fact checking.” He stares at me blankly.
    I glance at Annie, hoping to get a look of sympathy from her, but her back is turned to me.
     
    I go home. I was assertive, and look what happened. How much worse can things get? Bastard elephant.
    Maybe it’s for the best. I’ll look for a new job, which will probably be better than the old one. Most jobs would be. But first I’ll take a break. A week or two, before I start sending out resume. Just enough time to take hold of myself and get my life in order.
    Notice I’m speaking of my elephant as one would of God. “Maybe it’s for the best” is the excuse one gives when God goofs.
    When Charlotte gets home from work, she sees her belongings in the hallway, tries to open my door, can’t, starts ringing, shouting, banging, calling, insulting, crying, kicking, threatening suicide, threatening to call the police, to turn me in, and finally falls silent. I look through the peephole. Her things are still there, but she isn’t. I open my door an inch, and she jumps up and flings herself against it. I was prepared for that trick, so I am not caught by surprise and am able to close the door easily.
    The whole thing starts over: the bangs, the screams, the insults, the tears. I take a bath with earplugs in my ears. I let the hot water relax my muscles. A couple of minutes later I