Oleander House: Bay City Paranormal Investigations, Book 1

with the longing for someone to truly understand him. Sam moved closer to Bo, so close he could hear Bo’s ragged breathing.
“Because,” Sam said in a near whisper, “I care about you. Even though we barely know each other.” He reached up and caressed Bo’s cheek. “Even though you’re probably going to push me away again and tell me how straight you are and remind me that you’re married.” He trailed his touch down Bo’s throat, feeling the pulse racing beneath his fingertips. “I can’t help it, Bo. I want you, and more than that, I like you. I can’t watch you fight yourself like this and not try to help you.”
Bo stared at Sam with wide, frightened eyes. “I made a promise to my wife, Sam. That’s not something I can just throw away.”
“I know.” Sam lifted Bo’s braid, letting it slide against his palm. “I’m not asking you to.”
Bo’s hand slid up Sam’s arm, fingers kneading his shoulder, and it was all Sam could do to remain upright. “This is wrong,” Bo said softly, almost to himself. “I can’t. I shouldn’t…”
He trailed off, shaking his head. Sam, sensing that Bo was teetering on the brink, snaked an arm around his waist and pressed their bodies together, ignoring the surprised sound Bo made. “Shouldn’t what?” he whispered. “Shouldn’t want me like I want you? Shouldn’t kiss me like I know you want to?” He nuzzled Bo’s hair, breathing in the clean scent of shampoo tinged with a hint of sweat. “What shouldn’t you do, Bo?”
Bo sagged in Sam’s embrace, heart pounding so hard Sam could feel it against his chest. “All of those. I can’t do this, I can’t, Sam, let me go.”
Before you give in and there’s no going back, Sam mentally filled in. He let Bo slide out of his arms. Bo backed up, arms crossed over his belly as if shielding himself from his own desires.
“It could be really good between us.” Sam hadn’t meant to say that, but he didn’t take it back.
Bo looked away. “No, Sam.”
Sam plunged on, figuring he’d already gone too far to pretend he had nothing else to say. “I’m sick of dancing around this, Bo. I have to be completely honest with you, even if it costs me this job. What I’m feeling here goes beyond just wanting to fuck. This is something I’ve never felt in my life before. Ever. I want to know you, I want to be part of your life. I’m not trying to break up your family, I’m really not, but if your marriage is strong then you have nothing to worry about from me anyway.”
Bo drummed his fingers on the counter. His shoulders were hunched and tense. “What do you want from me? What do you want me to say?”
“Just tell me if I have a chance with you,” Sam said, suddenly feeling bone weary. “If the answer’s no, I’ll never mention it again, you have my word. But I have to know, right now.”
Bo’s eyes glittered with the war Sam knew was going on inside him. He took a step toward Sam. A movement in the doorway caught Sam’s eye, and he froze when he looked over at Andre and David’s shocked faces.
Chapter Fifteen
    Bo’s face went rigid for a second before his practiced smile slid into place. He turned. “Hey, guys. Do you need something?”
    David looked down at his feet, blushing furiously. “Um. No, just… We were just…”
“Getting a beer,” Andre finished for him. His expression was a blank mask. “It can wait. Come on, David.”
The two hurried out of the room, David throwing a half-revolted, half-curious look at them over his shoulder.
A heavy silence fell. Sam covered his face with both hands. So much for keeping secrets, he thought bitterly.
He jumped when he felt Bo’s tentative touch on his arm. “Sam? Hey, it’s okay, I’m sure—”
“No, Bo, I don’t think it’s okay at all,” Sam snapped. He shook Bo’s hand off and strode out the side door without looking back.
The mudroom and sun porch were blessedly empty, as was the foyer. Sam heard low voices coming from the library as he took the stairs two at a time. He got to his room without seeing anyone else. He wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or hurt that Bo hadn’t called him back or followed him.
Sam collapsed onto the bed and lay staring up at the ceiling. He felt numb all over, drained and exhausted. Empty.
“Christ, Sam,” he muttered. “Why’d you have to tell him?”
The question was an idle one. He knew why he’d done it, and he didn’t regret it. He just wished he’d waited for a more private time