On an Edge of Glass

His gold-flecked eyes move lazily up and down my body. 
    “Come inside,” I say, grabbing his shirt and pulling him into my body. 
    Stopping me, Ben lifts his hands to the wooden door frame, effectively holding himself outside of my room.  I must make a frustrated sound because Ben chuckles and leans down to kiss me softly on my cheek.  His lips graze the spot where my earlobe meets my jaw.  Losing control of myself, I shiver.
    “This is our first date, Ellie,” he whispers harshly.  His mouth is against my skin and I can feel his moist tongue dart out and brush my earlobe.  “I want it to go the way that a first date should.  That includes the traditional first date door drop-off.” 
    I step away from him, lifting my eyebrows high on my forehead.  “You’re kidding, right?”
    He shakes his head unhurriedly.
    I groan and stamp my foot against the wood floor.  Ben laughs.
    “This is ridiculous.  I’ve already seen what’s under here,” I say, tracing the waistband of his pants. 
    Ben chuckles some more and rolls his eyes.  “Are you going to try to kill me tonight?”
    I blow out a long, exasperated breath.  “Well, what about the traditional first date kiss at the door?”  I ask and innocently bat my eyelashes. 
    The smile on his lips as he slips his h and to my neck and pulls me toward him is teasing.  So is the kiss.  Our mouths barely touch, but even so, everything inside of me ignites like I’ve been doused in kerosene and a match has been thrown at me.
    Just wh en I open my mouth for more, Ben takes a step away.  Disappointment crashes into me like ice cold water.  I touch my fingers to my lips and blink my eyes.  Ben laughs again.
    “Are you mocking me?”  I challenge.
    He tucks his dark hair back and chews the inside of his mouth.  “No, I’m not mocking you at all.  I’m admiring you, Ellie.”  He takes a deep breath and slips his hands into his pockets.  “This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.”
    I scrunch my face up.  “What’s harder than you thought it would be?  Going on a date with me?”
    “ No.  That part is easy.  The hard part is leaving you.”
    “Then don’t leave,” I say with a note of defiance in my tone.
    Ben cl oses his eyes briefly.  “Ellie Glass, you are a dangerous seductress out to ruin all of my good intentions.”
    I cock my hip and giggle .  “Damn straight I am.”
    We stand like that for a long moment, just staring at each other from opposite sides of my bedroom door. 
    His face.  His eyes, and nose, and mouth.  I want to memorize all of the parts of him.
    Moving quickly, I step to the closet and find my black bag on the bottom shelf.  I unsnap the plastic clasp at the side and pull out my camera.
    Ben comes a few inches closer so that he’s perfectly framed in my bedroom door.
    I remove the lens cap and bring the camera to my face , adjusting the focus manually.
    “What are you doing?”  He asks, raising his eyebrows. 
    I don’t answer him, but Ben doesn’t retreat when I snap at least a dozen photos.  He crosses his arms across his chest.  A loose hair tumbles across his face but he leaves it. 
    When I ’ve taken enough, I drop the camera to waist level and smile at him.  “I’m remembering.”
     

CHAPTER THIRTEEN
    Baby, it’s Cold Outside
     
     
    Thanksgiving is uneventful as far as Thanksgivings with my family go.  Neither my mother nor my father is one for cooking, even on holidays, so the three of us end up eating at a European styled restaurant in Canal Square.  We sit at a table topped with a crisp white cloth.  I dutifully eat a beet and watercress salad served by a refined man in a tuxedo, and I answer a jillion parental-type questions about the LSAT and my Columbia essay and my plans for the next, oh, dozen years or so.
                  The saving grace of my Thanksgiving dinner is that halfway through the meal, Ben texts me an update from his house.
                                 Ben: Mom’s boyfriend just dropped the turkey on the floor. Dog having best meal of his life.
                                Me: Lol. What did you guys do?
                                Ben: What else? Ordered a pizza.
                                Me: Haha! I would kill for a slice of pepperoni and mushroom.  I’m not sure I’ll last through dessert.