Once More With Footnotes

barrel she was sitting on a hundred yards into the air. She' d been lucky that a fir tree had broken her fall.
     
                  "So ... then you dug in the hollow by the chestnut tree?" she said mildly.
     
                  Hampicker looked shocked. "No'm! There's no telling what she wanted us to find there!"
     
                  "And she cursed my cow!" said Poorchic k.
     
                  "Really? What did she say?"
     
                  "She said, 'May she give a lot of milk'!" Poorchick stopped. Once again, now that he came to say it ...
     
                  "Well, it was the way she said it," he added, weakly.
     
                  "And what kind of way was that?"
     
                  "Nicely!"
     
                  "Nicely?"
     
                  "Smilin' and everything! I don't dare drink the stuff now!"
     
                  Nanny was mystified.
     
                  "Can't quite see the problem — "
     
                  "You tell that to Mr. Hopcroft's dog." said Poorchick. "Hopcroft daren't leave the poor thing on account of her! The whole family's going mad! There's him shearing, his wife sharpening the scissors, and the two lads out all the time looking for fresh places to dump the hair!"
     
                  Patient questioning on Nanny's part elucidated the role the Haire Restorer had played in this.
     
                  "And he gave it .. .?"
     
                  "Half the bottle, Mrs. Ogg."
     
                  "Even though Esme writes 'A right small spoonful once a week' on the label? And even then you need to wear roomy trousers."
     
                  "He said he was so nervous, Mrs. Ogg! I mean, what's she playing at? Our wives are keepin' th e kids indoors. I mean, s'posin' she smiled at them?"
     
                  "Well?"
     
                  "She's a witch!"
     
                  "So'm I, an' I smiles at 'em," said Nanny Ogg. "They're always runnin' after me for sweets."
     
                  "Yes, but ... you're ... I mean ... she ... I mean ... you don't ... I mean, well — "
     
                  " And she's a good woman," said Nanny. Common sense prompted her to add, "In her own way. I expect there is water down in the hollow, and Poorchick's cow'll give good milk and if Hopcroft won't read the labels on bottles then he deserves a head you can see your face in, and if you think Esme Weatherwax'd curse kids you've got the sense of a earthworm. She'd cuss 'em, yes, all day long. But not curse 'em. She don't aim that low."
     
                  "Yes, yes," Poorchick almost moaned, "but it don't feel right, that's what we're saying. Her going round being nice, a man don't know if he's got a leg to stand on."
     
                  "Or hop on," said Hampicker darkly.
     
                  "All right, all right, I'll see about it," said Nanny.
     
                  "People shouldn't go around not doin' what you expect," said Po orchick weakly. "It gets people on edge."
     
                  "And we'll keep an eye on your sti — " Hampicker said, and then staggered backwards, grasping his stomach and wheezing.
     
                  "Don't mind him, it's the stress," said Poorchick, rubbing his elbow. "Been picking herbs, M rs. Ogg?"
     
                  "That's right," said Nanny, hurrying away across the leaves.
     
                  "So shall I put the fire out for you, then?" Poorchick shouted.
     
    -
     
                  Granny was sitting outside her house when Nanny Ogg hurried up the path. She was sorting through a sack of old c lothes. Elderly garments were scattered around her.
     
                  And she was humming. Nanny Ogg started to worry. The Granny Weatherwax she knew didn't approve of music.
     
                  And she smiled when she saw Nanny, or at least the corner of her mouth turned up. That was real ly worrying. Granny normally only smiled if something bad was happening to someone deserving.
     
                  "Why, Gytha, how nice to see you!"
     
                  "You all right, Esme?"
     
                  "Never felt better, dear." The humming