One Hundred Names (Special Edition)

eavesdropping on his phone conversation with his wife, which was beautiful and touching, but they had an impatient judge waiting and an entire wedding congregation lining up along the shore to watch, as Kitty had burst into the reception a little too loudly to announce the adjudicator was there. Much interest had been taken in the table of people quickly escaping the reception and the sight of two men and a pedalo running past them on the grass. So everybody had trickled out of the party to join them on the banks of the river where they were currently waiting for Jedrek to get off the phone to his wife.
    Finally he hung up and wiped his eyes, turned to the crowd with pride and confidence in his eyes. ‘We can do this, my friend Achar.’ He reached out to his compadre and they walked arm in arm down to the water. Everybody cheered as they went.
    ‘Could you do the honours, please?’ Jedrek said to Kitty.
    ‘Okay, em …’ Kitty cleared her throat and Steve circled her and moved around snapping photographs of the entire event. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, bride and groom, we’re sorry to have taken you from your wedding party.’ The bride and groom seemed as excited as everybody else. ‘But our friends Jedrek and Achar, who have been in training for almost a year, are about to make a world record attempt for the fastest two men in a pedalo dash. The current record is one-minute fifty-eight point six two and they are attempting to break this record at one minute fifty.’
    There was an excited response from the crowd.
    ‘I’ve seen them do it, but today we are joined by a Guinness World Record adjudicator who will witness this officially for our friends. So please lend your support to our friends Jedrek and Achar!’
    Another cheer and James, the adjudicator, immediately perked up at the response of the two-hundred-strong crowd.
    ‘You can do it, Jedrek, Achar.’ Birdie gave them each a pink lipsticked kiss on the cheek. Archie slapped their backs and took his place as coach and morale-booster. Steve took photographs, Eva, Mary-Rose, Ambrose and Eugene crowded around them, and suddenly Kitty felt overwhelmingly proud of her little group of random people whom she – whom
Constance
– had brought together.
    Everybody neared the water’s edge to get a full view of the record attempt.
    Jedrek and Achar climbed into the pedalo, cycled slowly out one hundred and fifty metres and prepared themselves. They held hands tightly, said a prayer, looked at one another and passed silent words of support, and then they were ready.
    The adjudicator made the official call for them to start, holding the stopwatch in his hands and immediately they were off.
    The crowd cheered them on, the bride and groom in pride of place whooping and hollering, delighted to have this entertainment at their wedding. Achar and Jedrek pumped their little legs like they’d never done before, their faces full of concentration, of need, of want, of pure desire to be accepted, to be deemed worthy, to forget about the few years of emptiness and despair they had felt, for this moment to rescue them, to make them feel like men again. The sounds of their encouragement to each other were audible from the water’s edge. And finally they reached the one-hundred-metre mark and there was a burst of cheering from the crowd. Jedrek and Achar looked up anxiously to see if they had done it.
    ‘You did it!’ Kitty shouted, and the two men stood up and celebrated, hugging each other and jumping up and down so much they eventually fell into the water.
    Everyone laughed, and Eugene and Archie helped pull them out.
    The adjudicator pulled a rolled-up piece of paper from his bag and gathered a dripping wet Achar and Jedrek beside him.
    ‘Unfortunately I didn’t know that I was going to be here today, I was merely accosted by these two men yesterday,’ he explained. ‘But I had the office fax me some paperwork so that they could have something to see today. It officially declares them as record owners for the fastest pedalo dash by two men in a distance of one hundred metres.’
    He presented them with the rolled-up fax, and Jedrek and Achar took it in their wet hands as though it were the Holy Grail. Though it was Jedrek and Achar’s win, Kitty felt that all of her little group felt some ownership of it too. They had convinced the judge to come here today and so a small part of it was owed to them. They all hugged each other, congratulating and celebrating at