Operation Date Escape

cutting her off. “I know you have to get to work. I just wanted to call and see what you’re doing this evening. Any plans?”
    Kelsie hesitated, knowing what she wanted to say. She pushed the fridge door shut and twisted the plastic cap on the juice bottle. “No,” she answered with a sigh.
    “I was hoping you’d say that. Well, you do now.”
    “I do?” Damn. Yes was all she’d had to say and this discussion wouldn’t be continuing. What was with her not being able to lie to her mother? It would have only been a small one.
    “Yes. I met the nicest man at Lowe’s last night.”
    “Lowe’s? As in the hardware store?”
    “Where else?” her mother replied as if she visited that kind of a store all the time. “I was thinking-”
    “Mom, I really need to get going.”
    “Okay, I’ll be quick. As I was saying, I was thinking the other day about places to go to find good men. That’s when I realized I’d missed a prime spot for single men who are good with their hands.”
    “So you went to a hardware store?”
    “Home improvement center, honey. There’s a difference.”
    “Mom...” she pleaded.
    “I know what you’re thinking, but you really need to give this young man a chance. You never know when you’re going to meet Mr. Right.”
    Try never.
    “Forget it, Mom. I’m still getting over the last blind date you fixed me up with. Mr. Muscle Car. You remember him, don’t you?”
    “Sorry about that. He seemed so nice when I was talking to him.”
    “You met the guy when he changed your oil , which means he was under your hood for most of the ten minutes you were with him.”
    “Okay, so we didn’t talk much. He had a nice smile,” her mother said in her own defense. “I know how important that is to you, being a hygienist and all.”
    “Kyle had a nice smile ,” she told her mother. “And he turned out to be a slithering snake.”
    “This one’s better . I swear. His name is Cornelius.”
    Cornelius? It wasn’t exactly the kind of name she could envision herself crying out in the throes of passion. Not that her life had any of that going on lately.
    No doubt afraid she was losing her daughter’s interest, Melinda Collins quickly added, “Cornelius is an accountant for The Limited’s corporate office here in Columbus. That means he’s financially stable.”
    Kelsie slung her purse over her shoulder and dug for her keys. “Money isn’t everything.”
    “Don’t worry. I’ve already done a background check on him on the internet. Oh and did I mention that he still has all his hair.”
    “Mom. ..”
    Then it came. That long moment of silence meant to guilt children into doing their parent’s bidding. And sure enough, she was caving. Her mother had given up so much in her life to raise her alone. What was one more blind date? Besides, there was still research to be had for her dating survival guide.
    “Fine. I’ll do it. What time?”
    “Seven o’clock. And dress casual. He mentioned something about taking you rollerblading.”
    “Rollerblading?” she shrieked. “I’ve never been on in-line skates in my life.”
    “Guess you’ll have to hold on to your date’s arm really tight then. Have fun!”
    “Mom—”
    There was a resounding click on the other end of the line, followed by the hum of a dial tone as her mother made her escape the cowardly way.
    Kelsie returned the phone to its cradle and muttered a colorful array of curses as she hurried out the door to work. She’d done it again; let her mother talk her into suffering through what was pretty much guaranteed to be another bad date. This time with a man named Cornelius.
    * * *
    “Cornelius?” Nanci snorted as she followed Kelsie in through the back entrance of the Victorian two-story that had been converted into a state-of-the-art cosmetic dental office. The door hadn’t even closed behind them before Nanci dissolved into an uncontrollable fit of the giggles.
    “Don’t start,” Kelsie warned as they made their way to the front desk where their patient files for the day awaited them. “I’m having caffeine withdrawal right now.”
    “Whose fault is that?”
    “I know. I never should have answered the phone.”
    “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You and I both know that your mom would have just come by here to tell you if she hadn’t of reached you this morning.”
    She shook her head with a frown. “I love my mother, but sometimes she can really drive me crazy.”
    “Morning, girls ,” Dr.