Parallel

space is already crowded with white people trying to bust a move. The five of us spend the next two hours on the dance floor, stopping only for two-dollar kamikaze shots and increasingly frequent pee breaks.
    “What’s next?” Ben asks when the house lights come on. As if on cue, I yawn.
    “Looks like the birthday girl is partied out,” Michael notes.
    “No, I’m not!” This is a lie. I am completely partied out. My hair is plastered to my forehead, and my tights are damp with sweat. I yawn again, giving myself away. “Okay, maybe a little.”
    “I’m sleepy,” says Marissa, leaning against Ben and closing her eyes.
    “Yeah, I should get home,” Caitlin says. “I have class at eight. And Ab, aren’t you shopping that poli-sci class at nine?”
    Yikes. Classes.
    Michael drapes his arm across my shoulder, his skin as sticky as mine. “Looks like we’re outnumbered,” he says to Ben. “Should we call it a night?”
    By the time we walk the ten blocks back to Old Campus, I am basically asleep on my feet. Once we pass through the main gate, Caitlin hugs me good-bye. “Call me tomorrow,” she whispers, giving me a squeeze. “Wherever you are.”
    “Let me walk you,” Ben says casually. “You shouldn’t walk alone.” I glance quickly at Marissa to see if she looks annoyed, but she doesn’t—she just looks sleepy. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Caitlin hesitate.
    Just then, her phone rings. Her face lights up when she checks the caller ID. “Hey!” she says, answering it. “I was just about to call you.” Caitlin mouths, “I’m fine” to Ben, then sets off across the quad.
    “Boyfriend?” Michael asks.
    “Yep. He goes to Michigan.” I watch for Ben’s reaction, but he doesn’t have one. He just puts his arm around Marissa and steers her toward our building.
    When we get back to our room, Marissa and Ben disappear inside, leaving Michael and me in the hall. I’m in the midst of trying to decide whether to invite him in when he says, “I had a really great time tonight.”
    “Me, too,” I say, as I silently will the parallel me to stay on whatever life track will bring her to this precise moment. For the first time in a long time, there is nowhere else I’d rather be.
    I want this. This moment. This reality. This life.
    These thoughts scare me, because there’s no guarantee that everything won’t change again tomorrow. Anger and gratitude compete inside my brain. I hate that my parallel could erase this, but I also know that she’s the reason it’s happening at all. I focus on the tiny flecks of amber in Michael’s green eyes, illuminated by the warmth of the yellow bulb above us.
    “Happy birthday, Abby,” Michael says, right before leaning in to kiss me. His lips are soft but firm as they move against mine, his palms gently cupping my face. My eyes flutter shut, quieting everything but the sensation of Michael’s mouth on mine.
    “I’ll call you tomorrow,” I hear him say. I just nod, not trusting myself to speak coherently at this moment, my lips still warm from his. Michael kisses me once more lightly and turns to leave. I watch until he disappears down the stairwell, then let myself inside.
    Ben looks up from the pillow pallet he’s making on the floor. Marissa is sprawled out on the couch, already asleep.
    “So you like him,” Ben says.
    “I just met him.”
    “So? You can still like him.” Ben finishes with his makeshift bed and lies down on top of it.
    “I don’t even know his last name,” I point out.
    “Carpenter,” Ben replies, and closes his eyes. “And he likes you back.” Smiling, I head to the bedroom.
    As I climb into an unfamiliar bed, a wave of dismay sweeps over me, replacing the fatigue. This could be it. This could be my last moment here. The thought makes my stomach churn. I don’t want things to change again. I want to stay on this path long enough to see where it leads. I want it so badly I can taste it on my sake-numbed tongue. My phone lights up with a text, and I reach for it in the dark.
    Michael: SWEET DREAMS, BIRTHDAY GIRL.
    I can see it so clearly in my head, but I pull up the photo anyway, the only one I have from tonight. Michael’s on the dance floor, belting out the lyrics to a Salt-N-Pepa song, and even with his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth wide open, he looks ridiculously cute. Marissa and Ben are in the background, barely visible in the dim light, dancing and laughing with their arms around each other. The