Parallel

tip of Caitlin’s elbow is at the bottom corner of the frame. I was laughing when I took it, so hard I couldn’t keep my phone still, and forgot to use a flash. But though it’s dark and blurred a little, it captured the moment I didn’t want to lose.
    “Let me stay here,” I whisper in the dark. The closest thing to a prayer I’ve said in a while. My phone goes dark, and I slide it under my pillow, wanting it close. If the photo is there in the morning, I’ll know reality hasn’t changed overnight.
    From where I’m lying, I can see a sliver of the night sky through the window. It’s cloudy, so the sky has this greenish tinge to it. I think back to that night, a year ago yesterday, when I stood on my parents’ back porch, staring at the stars, feeling as though I was hovering on the brink of something significant. But then, that wasn’t really me who stood there. And those stars weren’t of this world, but hers.
    I close my eyes, finally giving in to the fatigue.

4
    THERE
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 2008
(thank God it’s Friday)
    “As a general policy, I don’t turn down free beer,” Tyler says, dipping a potato chip in ketchup and popping it into his mouth. “Makes these decisions easy.” He takes a swig of chocolate milk. Caitlin makes a face.
    “This is Ilana we’re talking about,” she points out. “She won’t even have beer.”
    I’m only half listening to their conversation. Astronomy starts in nine minutes, and I still haven’t finished last night’s reading assignment.
    “It’s a party. Of course she’ll have beer.”
    “The girl lives off Diet Coke and Altoids,” Caitlin replies. “She carries Splenda packets in her purse.”
    “So?”
    “White wine and vodka. Sugar-free Jell-O shots if you’re lucky.”
    “You’re crazy. There’s no way she’s throwing a party without a keg,” Tyler replies. Caitlin just smiles. Whatever you say.
    Tyler looks over at me. “What are you doing?”
    “Astronomy homework,” I reply without looking up. Two more pages to go.
    “Waiting till the last minute. Nice. Glad to see my study habits are finally rubbing off on you, Barnes.” I ignore him and keep reading.
    “So what’s the occasion, anyway?” Caitlin asks. “Don’t her parents go out of town all the time?”
    “She got the lead in the school play,” Tyler answers, mouth full. “This is her victory bash.” Caitlin makes a gagging motion, then returns to her salad.
    “So, what time are you ladies picking me up tonight?”
    “Sorry,” Caitlin replies. “We are otherwise engaged.”
    “Oh, yeah? Doing what?”
    I glance up at Caitlin. We have no plans.
    “Movie,” we say in unison.
    Tyler just shakes his head. “Lame.”
    “You realize there’s no way the cops aren’t coming to that party,” I say, speed-reading through the last few paragraphs.
    “Man, you guys are a complete and utter buzzkill today. Even more than usual.” There’s a pause, then I hear Tyler say, “But you look especially hot, so maybe it’s a wash.”
    Whoa. I look up and see Tyler smiling at Caitlin in a very un-Tyler way. Scratch that. It’s a very Tyler smile, but it’s the one he reserves for girls whose pants he’s trying to get into. I glance over at Caitlin, expecting her to look as uncomfortable as I feel. But she just makes an adorably flattered but still demure face and smiles in his direction.
    What is happening right now?
    Just then, the bell rings, and the moment is over. Tyler grabs his backpack and is gone, so unceremoniously that I wonder if I was reading too much into their exchange. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe he was just paying her a friendly compliment. Tyler wouldn’t blatantly hit on Caitlin while he’s hooking up with Ilana, and Caitlin has a very strict rule about flirting with guys who are taken. (Two summers ago, Caitlin spent six weeks in Huntsville interning with NASA, where she fell in love with this guy, Craig, who she thought was a college intern. She found out after she slept with him—her first and only time—that he was a twenty-six-year-old postdoc with a wife . She was different after that, in ways I’ll never fully grasp. So when I say she has a very strict rule about flirting with guys who are taken, I mean she doesn’t do it. Period.)
    “You coming?”
    Caitlin is standing a few feet away, clearly wondering why I’m sitting at the lunch table thirty seconds after the bell. My textbook is still open on the table. I run my eyes over the last