Perfect Day

them.
    ‘ Lavinia ? Frances . Yes. Fine, thanks. You? Good. Look I’ve got Nell here and she’s wondering if you’ve heard from Alexander. No?’
    Frances gives a thumbs down.
    ‘... Shall I hand her over?’
    ‘Mummy!’ says Nell. Unable to hold back the flood of tears as she hears her mother saying her name. So weird how a parent’s voice can make you a child all over again.
    ‘This train crash? It’s Alexander’s train! I’m down at Frances ’s place with Lucy...’
    ‘Isn’t it a schoolday ?’ her mother asks.
    ‘Yes, but it was such a lovely day, I thought Lucy and I could do with a blast of sea air,’ Nell explains.
    ‘You don’t want her to keep missing school...’
    ‘She doesn’t keep missing school...’
    ‘You don’t want to give them the idea that school is optional if it’s a nice day...’
    ‘Oh, shut up about school, will you? It’s not important right now
    Nell’s never told her mother to shut up. At least she’s not crying any more.
    ‘Just listen a second...’
    There’s a hurt silence at the end of the phone. She doesn’t know how her mother manages to get so much feeling into a silence.
    ‘I’m going to drive home now,’ Nell says, slowly. ‘If Alexander rings you, tell him I’m on my way home. Find out where he is... Find out everything you can...’
    ‘All right, my darling... now don’t start getting worried before you know anything. It won’t help...’
    ‘I am worried. I can’t help it!’
    Before the wailing child can return, Nell puts down the phone. ‘God!’ she says. ‘You’d think I’d made it up.’
    ‘She never cared for Alexander,’ Frances says.
    ‘She wouldn’t want him dead,’ Nell says, sharply.
    Lavinia’s her mother. She can say what she wants about her, but Frances can’t. Frances has never been very good at respecting that fundamental familial truth.
    ‘No. She wouldn’t,’ Frances concedes.
    There’s something about the way she emphasizes the word she that bothers Nell, but she determines to ignore it.
    ‘We’d better get going,’ Frances says.
    ‘You’re not coming with us?’ Nell says.
    ‘Of course I am.’
    ‘No, look, I really appreciate it, but we’ll be fine. Lucy?’ she calls. ‘Lucy, love, why don’t you go for a wee before we go? It’s a long journey home.’
    ‘Do we have to go home?’ Lucy calls back.
    ‘Yes, we do. Come on. Let’s get ready.’
    ‘ Ohhhh .’
    Great prima donna- ish sighs of disappointment emerge from the front of the flat. Nell smiles a don’t-you-remember-being-like-that smile at Frances , and when Frances doesn’t return it, she feel slightly unnerved.
    ‘I’m not sure you’re fit to drive,’ Frances persists.
    ‘Well you don’t drive anyway, do you?’ Nell points out.
    She doesn’t want to have an argument about it, but she’s absolutely determined that Frances will not accompany them, although she doesn’t really know why she feels so strongly.
    ‘Moral support,’ Frances says.
    Why does the prospect of taking Frances home just not work?
    ‘It’s really nice of you, but I’d prefer to be alone,’ Nell says.
    ‘But you won’t be alone, you’ll be with Lucy. I’ll look after her.’
    ‘No, Frances. Thanks, but no.’
    It’s ironic because Frances is always the one who tells her to stick up for herself, be assertive, and now she’s doing just that, and Frances doesn’t like it.
    ‘Why not?’
    ‘You’re teaching, aren’t you?’ Nell says. She wishes she was the sort of person who could just say ‘I don’t want you to.’
    ‘I’ll call in. It’s a good enough excuse.’
    ‘Look, I just want to be on my own,’ Nell says.
    She doesn’t want Frances with her because she is always so quick to decide what stance she’s going to take. Sometimes Nell feels she’s being corralled by the force of Frances ’s opinions into a place she doesn’t want to be. She can’t have that right now.
    ‘Oh yeah, sure you do,’ Frances says, with a nasty bite of the sarcasm that’s been nibbling at the edge of the conversation.
    ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Nell says, rather glad now that Lucy has taken not the slightest notice of her instructions to get ready. She’s alarmed by the look on Frances ’s face.
    ‘It’ll be very convenient for you if Alexander has died in this crash, won’t it?’ Frances says icily.
    ‘No!’
    ‘Oh, come on. You can do what you’ve been planning to do, and have everyone feeling sorry for you.’
    Nell