Pictures of Lily

she chides, which doesn’t help. Neither of us speaks for a while. I sit there, refusing to eat because I’m fuming. ‘Have you got an engagement ring?’ she asks.
    ‘Don’t you think I’d be wearing it if I did?’
    ‘Are you going to get one?’ she goes on, ignoring me.
    ‘No.’
    ‘Really? I thought Richard could afford an engagement ring.’
    ‘He can, Mum, but I don’t want one.’
    ‘Don’t you? Free diamonds are the only good thing about getting married, as far as I’m concerned.’
    ‘Well, why didn’t you do it more often, then,’ I say irritably. ‘It’s not like you didn’t have the opportunity to. By the way, I hear Michael’s very happy with Janine.’
    ‘Good for them,’ she says bluntly.
    I set off soon after that, but not before I’ve gone into my bedroom to pack away my things. I take one last inhale of Ben’s shirt and place the photos back in the box, feeling twinge after twinge of painful regret. I pick up the camera, but can’t bring myself to put it down.
    Why don’t you take it? Why don’t you take photos again?
    It’s too late, that’s why.
    It’s never too late.
    Stop it, Ben! Get out of my head!
    But nothing can prise the camera out of my fingers. I can’t even bear to put it down to pack away the box so I hang it from its strap around my neck and a strange sensation of elation passes through me as the weight of it thuds into my chest. I climb up onto the chair and slide the box back into the top of the cupboard, pausing for a moment as I think of the photos. I could take them too? No, they’re too heavy to carry up the hill to home and I have to catch the bus back to the ferry terminal as it is.
    ‘Have you still got that old thing?’ My mum nods at the camera when I come out of the room.
    ‘Yes, I thought I’d take it with me.’
    ‘Take it to the charity shop, is what you should do. I can’t believe your dad bought you such a clunky contraption.’
    ‘It wasn’t clunky when he got it for me,’ I state. ‘And anyway, I like it.’
    ‘Like it so much it sat in a box for years.’
    ‘It’s seeing the light of day again now.’
    ‘He should get you a new one, that’s what he should do. It’s not as if he doesn’t have the money.’
    ‘I don’t need Dad to buy me a new camera, so don’t go on about it, alright?’
    ‘Okay, okay. When are they coming out here?’
    ‘In a few weeks. I can’t wait to see the girls again.’
    ‘I take it Lorraine’s coming?’ My mum hates Lorraine. You can hear it in the tone of her voice.
    ‘Of course.’
    ‘I hope they’re using contraception. I can’t believe she had a third baby at her age.’
    ‘She was only thirty-five!’
    Mum pulls a face and I go over to give her a peck on the cheek. ‘Bye, Mum. See you soon, okay?’
    ‘If you can drag yourself all the way out here again.’
    ‘You know, you could always come and see Richard and me sometime too.’
    ‘No, you’re too busy. I’m too busy as well. I’m working all manner of shifts at the moment.’
    ‘Still getting good tips?’
    ‘The best.’ She smiles smugly and on that note I leave her.
    ‘Where did you get that?’ Richard asks when he sees my camera later.
    ‘It’s my old camera. My dad got it for me when I first moved to Australia. I used to take loads of photos.’
    ‘Did you?’
    ‘Yeah. I was kind of pretty good,’ I admit.
    ‘Kind of pretty good?’ he teases. I blush instead of reply and he doesn’t interrogate me further. ‘How was your mum?’
    ‘Okay, I think. She asked after you.’
    ‘That’s nice,’ he says half-heartedly.
    ‘I told her we were getting married.’
    ‘Did you?’ He looks up, surprised.
    ‘Yes.’
    ‘I thought we were going to tell our parents together?’
    ‘Sorry, it just kind of slipped out.’
    ‘What did she say?’
    ‘She was happy for us. Sort of.’
    He laughs wryly. ‘I bet. I hope it gave you good practice because we’re going over to Mum and Dad’s for a late lunch tomorrow. Sally and Brenda are going to be there, too.’
    Sally and Brenda are Richard’s sisters. They’re a bit full of themselves. Sally is younger than Richard by eighteen months; Brenda is older by three years. Neither has settled down yet, but I did hear through Nathan that Sally has set her sights on one of his employees.
    ‘Oh, really?’
    ‘No need to sound quite so excited,’ he says jokily. He knows I’m not a big fan of his sisters and, quite frankly, it’s going to be hard enough