Point of Retreat

expecting Julia to address me personally. She wipes away a tear from her eyes. I do my best to fight back my own tears. I take a deep breath and clear my throat, then finish reading the letter.
     
    You are a wonderful man, and you’ve been a wonderful friend to me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for loving my daughter like you do. You respect her, you don’t need to change for her, and you inspire her. You can never know how grateful I have been for you, and how much peace you have brought my soul.
     
    And Lake; this is me-nudging your shoulder, giving you my approval. You couldn’t have picked anyone better to love if I would have hand-picked him myself. Also, thank you for being so determined to keep our family together. You were right about Kel needing to be with you. Thank you for helping me see that. And remember, when things get tough for him, please teach him how to stop carving pumpkins…
     
    I love you both and wish you a lifetime of happiness together.
     
    -Julia
     
    “ And all around my memories, you dance...” ~The Avett Brothers
     
     
     
     
     
    I put the card back inside the envelope and watch as Lake rubs her hands across the glass, spinning it around to view it from all angles. “I saw her making these once. When I walked into her room, she was folding strips of paper up and she stopped and put it aside as we talked. I forgot about it. I forgot all about it. This must have taken her forever.”
     
    She stares at the stars and I stare at her. She wipes more tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. She’s holding it together well, all things considered.
     
    “I want to read them all, but at the same time I hope we never need to read them at all, ” she says.
     
    I lean forward and give her a quick kiss. “You are as amazing as your mother.” I take the vase out of her hands and walk it to the dresser and set it down. Lake takes the box and shoves the wrapping paper inside and sets it on the floor. She puts the card on the table, and then lies back on the bed. I lie down beside her, turn toward her and rest my arm over her waist. “You okay?” I ask her. I can’t tell if she’s sad.
     
    She looks at me and smiles. “I thought it would hurt to hear her words again, but it didn’t. It actually made me happy,” she says.
     
    “Me too,” I say. “I was really worried it was a puppy.”
     
    She laughs and lays her head on my arm. We lay there in silence watching each other. I run my hand up her arm and trace her face and neck with my fingertips. I love watching her think.
     
    She eventually lifts her head off my arm and slides on top of me, placing her hands on the back of my neck. She leans in and slowly parts my lips with hers. I become quickly consumed by the taste of her lips and the feel of her warm hands. I wrap my arms around her and run my fingers through her hair as I return her kiss. It’s been so long since we’ve been alone together without the possibility of being interrupted. I hate being in this predicament-but then again I love being in this predicament. Her skin is so soft, her lips are perfect. It gets harder and harder to retreat every time.
     
    She runs her hands underneath my shirt and lightly teases my neck with her mouth. She knows this drives me crazy, yet she’s been doing it more and more lately. I think she likes pushing her boundaries. One of us needs to retreat…and I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. Apparently, neither can she.
     
    “How much time do we have?” she whispers. She lifts up my shirt and her lips make their way down to my chest.
     
    “Time?” I say weakly.
     
    “Until the boys get home.” She slowly kisses her way back up to my neck again. “How long do we have until they get home?” She brings her face back to mine and looks at me. I can see by the look in her eyes that she’s telling me she’s not retreating.
     
    I bring my arm over my face and cover my eyes. I try to talk myself down. This isn’t how I want it to be for her. Think about something else, Will. Think about college, homework, puppies in cardboard boxes…anything.
     
    She pulls my arm away from my face so she can look me in the eyes. “Will…it’s been a year. I want to.”
     
    I roll her onto her back and prop my head up on my elbow and lean in toward her, stroking her face with my other hand. “Lake, believe me…I’m ready, too. But not here. Not right now. You’ll just have to go home in an hour when the