Point of Retreat

onto her back and she stares up at me and laughs. “Fine. Pick me up at seven.”
     
    I brush her hair out of her eyes and run my finger along the edge of her face. “I love you, Lake.”
     
    “Say it again,” she says.
     
    I kiss her forehead and repeat what I said. “I love you, Lake.”
     
    “One more time.”
     
    “I.” I kiss her lips. “And love.” I kiss them again. “And you.”
     
    “I love you, too.”
     
    I ease my body on top of hers and interlock fingers with her. I bring her hands above her head and press them into the floor. I lean in as if I’m going to kiss her, but I don’t. I like to tease her when we're in this position. I barely touch my lips to hers until she closes her eyes, then I slowly pull away. She opens her eyes and I smile at her, then lean in again. As soon as her eyes are closed, I pull away again.
     
    "Dammit, Will! Butterflying kiss me already!"
     
    I release her hands and she grabs my face and pulls my mouth to hers. We continue kissing until we get to the ‘point of retreat,’ as Lake likes to call it. She climbs out from under me and sits up on her knees as I roll onto my back and remain in the floor. We don’t like to get carried away when we aren’t the only ones in the house. It’s so easy to do. When we catch ourselves taking things too far, one of us always calls retreat.
     
    Before Julia passed away, we made the mistake of taking things too far, too soon…a crucial mistake on my part. It was just two weeks after we started officially dating and Caulder was staying the night at Kel’s house. Lake and I came back to my place after a movie. We started making out on the couch and one thing led to another…neither of us willing to stop it. We weren’t having sex, but we would have eventually if Julia wouldn’t have walked in when she did. She completely flipped out. We were mortified. She grounded Lake and wouldn’t let me see her for two weeks. I probably apologized a million times in those two weeks.
     
    She eventually sat us down together and made us swear we would wait at least a year. She made Lake get on the pill, and made me look her in the eyes and give her my word. She wasn’t upset about the fact that her eighteen-year-old daughter almost had sex. Julia was fairly reasonable and knew it would happen eventually. What hurt her was that I was so willing to take that from Lake in such a short time frame, after only two weeks of dating. It made me feel incredibly guilty, so of course I agreed to the promise. She also wanted us to set a good example for Kel and Caulder and made us swear we wouldn’t spend the night at each other’s houses during that timeframe either. After Julia passed away, we’ve stuck to our word. More out of respect for Julia, than anything. Lord knows it’s more than difficult sometimes . A lot of times.
     
    We haven’t discussed it, but last week was exactly a year since we made that promise to Julia. I don’t want to rush Lake into anything. I want it to be completely up to her, so I haven’t brought it up. Neither has she. But then again, we haven’t really been alone, either.
     
    “Point of retreat,” she says and stands up. “I’ll see you tomorrow night. Seven o’clock. Don’t be late.”
     
    “Go find your phone and text me goodnight,” I tell her.
     
    She opens the door and faces me as she backs out of the house, slowly pulling the door shut. “One more time?” she says.
     
    “I love you, Lake.”
     

 
     
     
     
     
    Friday, January 6th, 2012
     
    I’m giving Lake her present in a little while. I’m not even sure what it is, since it’s not something I picked out. I can’t write any more right now, my hands are shaking. How the hell do these dates still make me nervous? I’m so pathetic.
     

 
     
     
    Chapter 2
     
     
     
    “Boys, no backwards tonight. You know Gavin can’t keep up when you guys talk backwards.” I wave goodbye and shut the door behind them.
     
    It’s almost seven. I go to the bathroom and brush my teeth, then grab my keys and jacket and head to my car. I can see her watching from the window. She probably doesn’t realize this, but I could always see her watching from the window. Especially in the months before we were officially dating. Every day I would come home and I would see her shadow. It’s what gave me hope that one day we would be able to be together…the fact that she still thought about me. After our fight in the laundry room though,