Pow!

Mother said. ‘Any other plant would have gone bankrupt!’

    ‘Why don't we organize a meat-eating competition?’ said Lao Lan in a burst of inspiration. ‘We can hold it in the city, even show it on TV. Then, when Xiaotong takes first place, United gets free advertising.’ Waving his fist excitedly, he carried on. ‘It's great idea! Think about it—a mere boy finishes off a platter of meat! But that's not all—he can hear meat talk, he can see its face. He can't lose, and the image of him destroying the competition is beamed into thousands and tens of thousands of living rooms. The impact will be mind-boggling! Xiaotong, you'll be famous! And as you, director of a workshop at United Meatpacking, will be feasting on our meat products, we'll be famous too. Huachang meats will be the best brand of all, and all the consumers will trust only our meat. Xiaotong, eating meat will be your finest contribution, and the more you eat the greater the contribution.’

    ‘First place in meat-eating?’ Father shook his head. ‘He'll be seen as nothing but an empty vessel for food and drink.’

    ‘Lao Luo, your backsliding has become serious,’ commented Lao Lan. ‘Don't you watch TV? Contests like this are all the rage—beer-drinking, meat-pie-eating, even leaf-eating. In fact, everything but meat-eating. No, we're going to do it. The effect will be felt not only in China but worldwide. Our meat products will show up in shops all over the world. Everywhere, people will be able to enjoy Huachang meats—meats you can trust. And when that happens, Luo Xiaotong, you'll have achieved international fame.’

    ‘Lao Lan,’ Mother said with a smile, ‘have you got drunk on meat, like Xiaotong?’

    ‘Not having your son's talent or luck, I don't know what it feels like to be drunk on meat. But I can, unlike you two, appreciate his vivid imagination. Your biggest problem is that you see your son through the eyes of parents. That's a mistake. First, forget he's a child, and second, forget he's your son. If you can't do that, you'll never be able to discover his value, his unique gift.’ Lao Lan turned to me: ‘Worthy Nephew, let's settle this here and now. We'll organize a meat-eating contest, if not in the next six months then some time later in the year, and if that fails then next year. Your sister is a talented meat-eater, too, isn't she? She can be a part of what will be a true sensation…’ There were tears in his eyes as he continued: ‘Worthy Nephew Xiaotong, all sorts of feelings rise up in me when I'm in the presence of a boy who knows how to eat meat. There are two meat-eating virtuosos in this world, you and the son of my third uncle, who sadly died way before his time…’

    A while later, Huang Biao was ordered to set up a new stove in the kitchen, one that could accommodate a larger pot; it was to be reserved for Luo Xiaotong's exclusive use. Huang Biao was then ordered that stock be constantly boiling in the pot and the meat cooking at all times. A ready supply of meat for Luo Xiaotong was the key to United's prosperity.

    Word soon got out of my daily supply of free meat, as well as of Lao Lan's plan of sponsoring a meat-eating contest. One day, three unhappy workers confronted me at the entrance to the meat-cleansing building. ‘Xiaotong,’ they said, ‘just because your father is the manager and your mother is the bookkeeper, and just because you're the director of this workshop and Lao Lan's protégé, does not mean that we have to kowtow to you! What makes you so special anyway? You can't read—a blind man can open his eyes but he still can't see—which makes filling that big belly of yours with meat your only talent.’

    ‘First of all, I'm not Lao Lan's protégé,’ I interrupted. ‘Next, I know enough characters to read what's important. As for my talent, I'm good at eating meat but I don't have a big belly. Tell me, would you call this a big belly? Eating lots of meat with a big belly is nothing to boast of. Eating the same quantity with a small belly is. If you don't want to kowtow to me, go tell Lao Lan. We can have a contest. If I lose, I'll step down as workshop director and leave the plant for good. I'll go out into the world or back to school. Of course, if I lose, someone else will have to enter the contest, maybe one of you.’

    ‘It won't do us any good to go tell Lao Lan,’ they said. ‘You may deny you're his protégé but it's obvious you two have a special