Pow!

for Wild Mule and you're no match for Yang Yuzhen.’

    Father raised the hatchet over his head.

    ‘Father!’ I shrieked as I ran to him.

    ‘Father!’ Jiaojiao shrieked as she ran to him.

    The local reporter raised his camera.

    The cameraman turned his lens to Father and Lao Lan.

    The hatchet circled the air above Father then swung down and split open Mother's head.

    She stood as still as a post for a few seconds and then slumped into Father's arms.

POW! 40

    Two nimble-footed electricians pound a nail into the temple's interior wall, attach a wire and hang a floodlight from it. When it's switched on its blinding light turns the dusky hall as pale as an epileptic. I squint to protect my eyes as spasms wrack my arms and legs, and the loud buzz of a cicada rings in my ears. I fear a relapse and desperately want to urge the Wise Monk to let us into his room behind the idol to escape from that light. But he sits there calmly, looking quite comfortable. That's when I discover a pair of fancy sunglasses on the floor beside me, possibly forgotten by the medical student — I can't be sure if she is in fact Lao Lan's daughter, since the world is full of people with the same name. I owe her for saving my life, and returning the glasses would be the right thing to do. But she's gone without a trace, so I put them on to keep the bright light out of my eyes. If she comes back I'll give them to her. If not I'll keep wearing them. I know a young woman like her would not want her glasses worn by someone like me. Everything has changed colour, taken on a soft, creamy hue, and I feel comfortable again. Lao Lan strides through the door, brings his uninjured arm up to his chest in a salute, then bows deeply and says almost in jest : ‘ Revered Horse Spirit, to atone for my ignorance and for offending you, I will put on an opera especially for you. I ask you to help me in my goal of becoming rich. When I do I will donate whatever it takes to refurbish your temple and give you a new coat of gold paint. I will even supply you with a bevy of young women to enjoy at leisure, so you will no longer have to enter people's homes in the dead of night ’ His vow draws titters from his entourage ; they cover their mouths with their hands. Fan Zhaoxia curls her lip . ‘ Are you asking for something from the Spirit or trying to make it angry ?’ she asks . ‘ What do you know ? The Spirit understands me. Revered Horse Spirit, what do you think of this wife of mine ? I'll be glad to offer you her services if you like ’ Fan Zhaoxia gives him a swift kick . ‘ You really do have a dog's mouth that can't spit out ivory ,’ she says . ‘ The Horse Spirit will show itself and use its hooves to put you out of your misery .’ ‘ Papa, Mamma ,’ their daughter calls from the yard , ‘ I want some cotton candy ’ Lao Lan pats the Horse Spirit's neck and says : ‘ Goodbye, Horse Spirit. Let me know in a dream if you spot the woman you like, and I'll see that you get her. Women these days go for big guys ’ Lao Lan exits the temple with his large retinue. A bunch of children holding sticks of cotton candy dart this way and that. A peddler of roasted corn on the cob fans his charcoal brazier with a moth-eaten fan . ‘ Ro-o-oasted cor-r-r-n ’ he shouts, drawing out each word . ‘ One RMB an ear, free if it's not sweet ’ The crowd has swollen in front of the opera stage, and the musicians fill the air with the clang of cymbals, the pound of drums and the twang of stringed instruments. A boy with tufts of hair standing up on either side of his head, wearing a red stomacher, his face heavily rouged ; a Qingyi in a side-buttoned robe and baggy trousers, her hair gathered in a bun ; an old man in a bamboo hat and straw sandals, sporting a white goatee ; a blue-faced comic actor ; and his female counterpart with a medicinal patch at her temple. They all clamour their way into the temple . ‘ You call this an actor's lounge ?’ the Qingyi is angry . ‘ There isn't even a chair ! ‘ Try to make the best of it, can't you ?’ pleads the old man with the goatee . ‘ No ,’ she says . ‘ I'm going to talk to Troupe Leader Jiang. This is no way to treat people ’ Jiang walks in as he hears his name : ‘ What's the problem ?’ ‘ We're not famous actors, Troupe Leader ,’ the Qingyi says, and we don't make unreasonable demands. But we are human beings, aren't we ? When there's no hot water we drink it cold, when we have to do