Pulse

feelings of wanting to belong and traveling through angst-filled passageways were behind her now. So that was one reason for feeling blue: the bloody death of what little childhood she’d had was officially over.
    She would never go back inside the abandoned, ivy-covered grade school again, either. She didn’t know why there was such certainty in this, only that it was so. It was pathetic, she knew, a weakness she couldn’t overcome and didn’t think she ever would, but she loved the old picture books. They were one of the only things in the world that made her feel happy. When she was with them, all the bad feelings went away. She had been able to escape for a few precious minutes at a time, but she would escape no more.
    As she approached the ladder leading up to the roof of the Nordstrom building, Faith knew there was something more that made her feel so sad. But what she really missed was a person she could tell her secrets to. The one person she could tell about her crazy Dylan dream, in which they were skinny-dipping, and her legs were wrapped around his lower back. She missed the person she could tell anything to and who wouldn’t judge her and she wouldn’t be nervous or afraid of. That person was Liz. Faith would catch herself holding her hand out to the side, searching for a hand to hold and finding only empty space. To her surprise, Faith eventually realized that it was she, not Liz, who needed that hand to hold on to. The fact that it was gone pierced her heart every time she reached out for it. Deep inside, in the part of her heart she tried to ignore, Faith knew she would only survive if she could continue telling herself that someday, even if it was way off in the future, they would find each other again.
    It was a warm night, so she set her backpack on the cracked pavement and sat down on a curb. Faith was on the back side of the building, staring into the empty space where trucks used to deliver crates of suits and ties, dresses and fancy shoes. Out of the darkness came a shadowy figure, moving slowly toward her. It was unexpected; but all the same, she understood what his arrival signaled.
    “Your timing is terrible,” Faith said, not ready to get up and start moving.
    “My apologies to the queen,” Clooger joked, bowing his head of dreadlocks. He could be sarcastic when he wanted to be, which wasn’t often. Faith had forgotten how huge he was and how pale his skin, which shone down on her like a small moon against a black sky.
    “I was supposed to meet someone else here,” Faith said. She had a hunch Clooger’s appearance was all part of a plan.
    “My instructions are to retrieve you. That’s what I know.”
    Typical Clooger, Faith thought.
    This was a moment she knew would arrive, but she still couldn’t be sure her connection with Dylan and the arrival of the Drifter in front of her were connected, so she kept probing.
    “Did my parents send you? They said they’d contact me when the school closed down.”
    Clooger looked in the direction of the school, which landed his gaze on the back of the Nordstrom building about four feet away. “School’s closed down. You’re being contacted.”
    “Do you have to be so cryptic? Can’t you just tell me what’s going on? Please, Clooger—throw a stray girl a bone.”
    Faith had known Clooger awhile, and she knew when she’d gotten to him. His massive shoulders would lower slightly, and he wouldn’t look her in the eyes. He did this with no one but Faith, a rare letting down of his guard.
    “Come on, big guy,” Faith said, tapping the curb next to her. “Have a seat. Let’s talk it out.”
    Clooger smiled, which was even rarer than seeing his shoulders droop, but he had no intention of sitting down on the job.
    “All that stuff you’ve been doing up there,” Clooger said, raising his chin to the roof of the building. “I’m here to get you because of that, not because the school closed down.”
    “You know about that?” Faith was shocked, but she also realized there might not be a conflict of interest after all. Maybe Dylan and the Drifters were connected; but if they were, he’d never said anything about it.
    Clooger wouldn’t answer, but he was staring her straight in the eyes again, shoulders back like the soldier he was. She’d gotten all she was going to get out of him.
    “You left the Tablet behind?” Clooger asked as Faith got up and threw on her backpack. “It’s important. Can’t have that thing showing