QI The Book of the Dead

of the legacies of the anti-Catholic paranoia that Oates had left in his wake was a deep antipathy tothe Jesuits. They were believed to run a secret international spy ring, designed to undermine Protestantism and make converts at every turn. Psalmanazar said he had been tricked into leaving his homeland by a Jesuit in disguise, which had left him with a strong aversion to Catholicism. Whether or not Innes believed him, he at once saw a chance for professional advancement. Here was a potentially high-profile convert in the opposite direction. Now all that was needed was for him to be received into the Church of England. The plan worked. The bishop of London was thrilled by the heathen-turned-Anglican and proudly introduced him to the great and the good of London society. Not only was Innes lavishly praised for having brought about the conversion, he also retained the lucrative rights to Psalmanazar’s public appearances, exhibiting him as a glamorous ‘royal’ to a paying audience.
    Given that even educated English people of the time knew next to nothing about the Far East (and even less about the island of Formosa) Psalmanazar was able to get away with some madly outlandish claims. Its capital Xternetsa, he revealed, was presided over by the Emperor Meriaandanoo and men went naked except for a decorative plate of silver or gold covering their sexual organs. Though now reformed, he himself had once been a cannibal, because in Formosa it was legal to eat adulterous wives. Men did not generally marry until they reached fifty, but thereafter did so as often as possible because a supply of baby boys was in constant demand as live sacrifices to their god, who appeared sometimes as an elephant, sometimes as an ox. Psalmanazar wore a snake around his neck because, he explained, that was how Formosans kept cool. Within a year he had produced a book that became an immediate best-seller. A Historical and Geographical Description of Formosa, an Island subject to the Emperor of Japan , paintedelaborate pictures of Formosan life, language and culture. It was ingenious, sensational and entirely bogus.
    Some were dubious from the beginning. Psalmanazar went head to head with Jean de Fontenay, a Jesuit who had actually spent time in Formosa, who asked him why his skin was so fair. He responded by saying that Formosan royalty lived underground. He was invited to speak to members of the Royal Society, where the astronomer Edmund Halley challenged him vigorously. Halley enquired if sunlight ever shone directly down the chimneys of Formosan houses. Since the island was near the equator it was logical that at certain times of year it would do so, but Psalmanazar said it didn’t. Then, sensing a trap, he added, ‘Formosan chimneys are almost always built at crooked angles and containing bends.’
    By 1707 the Formosan craze was over. Psalmanazar’s attempts to capitalise on his fame by marketing a brand of lacquer which he called ‘white Formosan work’ failed to catch on and, after brief stints painting ladies’ fans and working as a clerk to an army regiment, he decided to devote himself to writing. In 1717 he confessed to his friends that the whole thing had been a fraud. It’s a testament to his true character that he wasn’t ostracised. Far from it: the ‘pretended Formosan’ settled quite easily into life as a jobbing member of Grub Street. Already fluent in Latin, he learnt Hebrew and his contributions to several large encyclopaedias were praised for the accuracy of their research, particularly when describing the customs and culture of ancient peoples. He even produced a corrective article on Formosa, this time basing it on fact. The young Dr Johnson counted him a close friend: enthusiastically stating that his company was ‘preferable to almost anyone else’. When Boswell asked him if he ever mentionedFormosa, Johnson replied he was ‘afraid even to mention China’ and, as for opposing so learned and devout a man: ‘I should as soon think of contradicting a Bishop!’
    Psalmanazar’s final act of contrition was to write his memoirs. Published after his death, they throw light on his unfathomable decisions to construct and then de-construct his Formosan identity. Though he never reveals his true name – and no one has ever been able to do so since – he does say that he was born into a poor family in southern France, was educated by Jesuits, and that his father left home when he was young. Psalmanazar’s