Rachel Goddard 01 - The Heat of the Moon

spoke.
    “A long time ago,” he said directly to me. “It didn’t last long. I’d almost forgotten it ever happened.”
    “Wow,” Michelle said with a little laugh. “That’s something. Forgetting you were married.”
    Luke flushed darkly. I sipped my water, swallowing hard. How long ago could it have been? He was only thirty-six now.
    “Any children?” Mother said, her tone so light that she might have been inquiring about a pet or a car. 
    I made myself look at him, and I saw the shadow cross his face as he waited just a second too long to answer. “No,” he said.
    I didn’t want to imagine what his hesitation had meant. Mother’s eyes caught mine and held them with naked concern, with sympathy and distress.
    Luke broke the heavy silence. “Did you ever consider getting married again after your husband died?”
    I shot a frantic pleading look at Luke, but he was watching Mother.
    “No,” she said, icing over. “My girls and my work have always been enough.”
    “It couldn’t be easy raising two children alone. How old was your husband when he died?”
    Alarmed, unable to think of a single thing to say or do, I waited for Mother’s reaction.
    Following a pause that seemed interminable, she said, “He was in his early thirties. He was a young lawyer getting established in his career.”
    The statement had a finality about it that didn’t invite further questions. I knew that tone well. I hoped it would stop Luke.
    “Rachel told me you specialize in treating phobias,” he said. “And you’re a master hypnotist. What do you do, hypnotize people and convince them they’re not really scared?”
    Now he was making me mad, deliberately acting like a jerk with no thought to how it affected me.
    “Hypnosis is just one tool among many,” Mother said, her voice cool and level. “And I’m sure you don’t really believe treating deep-seated fears is that easy. Is everybody ready for dessert?”
    For a moment no one spoke. I stared at my plate. I’d eaten almost nothing.
    “Thanks, but I’ll have to pass,” Luke said. He pushed back his chair and stood. “I need to get back to the clinic and check on a surgery patient.”
    Mother also rose. The two of them regarded each other steadily, Luke’s face rigid and Mother’s set in a polite smile. “Well, it was very nice meeting you, Luke.”
    “Thanks for inviting me. Good night.” He dropped his napkin on the table and headed for the door.
    “Michelle?” Mother said. “Help me clear?”
    I would have to see Luke out, say good night to him. As Mother and Michelle began gathering plates, I trailed him to the foyer, where he waited at the door.
    “Come stay with me tonight,” he whispered.
    I shook my head. How could he even suggest it?
    “Why not? Are you afraid your mother won’t approve?”
    “What makes you think I’d go anywhere with you?” I snapped.
    “Aw, shit.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Rachel, we’ve got to talk.”
    “That’s the last thing I want to do right now.”
    He grasped my wrist. “Look at me, for God’s sake.”
    I tugged my arm free. “Just go, Luke.”
    “All right,” he said. “Okay. But we’re going to talk about this, when we’ve got some privacy. Listen—”
    He leaned toward me. I turned away, unable to keep pain from breaking through my fragile wall of anger.
    “I love you, Rachel. Remember that.” 
    I stepped around him and opened the door. After he was gone I stood in the foyer for a moment, listening to the murmur of Mother’s and Michelle’s voices from the kitchen.
    Everybody’s got a secret, I thought. Everybody’s got something to hide.

Chapter Nine
    Mother wouldn’t be quick to probe the wound. Having exposed Luke’s inadequacies, she’d leave me alone to think about my poor choice. My doubts would do the rest, and she knew it. We’d been through this kind of thing before.
    It was Michelle who couldn’t contain her curiosity for more than twenty-four hours. The next day, a Sunday, I got out of the house early and stayed gone all day, birdwatching with Damian’s three teenage daughters in the woods of Riverbend Park, then wandering around a shopping mall buying shoes and clothes and books I didn’t need.
    When I returned home laden with shopping bags Michelle and Mother were in the kitchen preparing dinner. A note in Mother’s handwriting was tacked to the little bulletin board beside the wall phone: Dr. Campbell called and would like you to call him