Red Phoenix

his blazing dark eyes.
    There was no dizziness or blackout. We just went straight from the living room to the Garden.
    It was tiny, only about a hundred metres to a side. There was a large pond in the middle, with carefully trimmed flowering shrubs all around it. A couple of open pavilions with benches overlooked the pond, hugging the high stone wall surrounding the Garden.
    We were the only ones there: Ms Kwan, Simone and me. Ms Kwan had materialised us at a table in one of the pavilions.
    Ms Kwan gestured and some tea appeared in front of us. She poured.
    ‘Are we on the Celestial Plane?’ I said.
    ‘No,’ she said. ‘You are nowhere at all.’
    ‘Good,’ Simone said into my chest.
    ‘Your father is a big, black, ugly, mean Turtle,’ Ms Kwan said gently.
    Simone didn’t move or speak.
    ‘He really hates you,’ Ms Kwan said, her voice still gentle.
    Simone still didn’t move.
    ‘He’ll go away and leave you all alone,’ Ms Kwan said.
    Simone shifted slightly in my lap. Her little hand moved on my arm, then held it tightly again.
    ‘Leo will get sick, and die, and then he’ll be gone too,’ Ms Kwan said.
    Simone jammed her head harder into my chest.
    ‘Ms Kwan…’ I said, but she smiled and waved me down. I know what I am doing.
    ‘And then Emma will go and leave you as well. You’ll be all alone.’
    Simone started to sob quietly into my chest and I held her tight.
    ‘Emma will never leave me,’ Simone said through the gasps.
    ‘That’s right,’ I said.
    Simone suddenly spun in my lap to glare at Ms Kwan. ‘My daddy doesn’t hate me, he loves me.’ ‘But he’s leaving you.’
    ‘He’s staying for me. To look after me. Because he loves me.’
    ‘But he’ll be gone in the end.’
    ‘I know,’ Simone gasped. ‘But he’s staying until I’m okay.’ She glared at Ms Kwan again. ‘Do you know how hard it is for him to stay? It hurts him. He’s really weak. He’s staying. He’s staying just for me.’
    ‘He’ll be gone for a long time.’
    ‘He’ll come back for us,’ Simone said fiercely. ‘He promised.’
    ‘Yes, he did,’ I said.
    ‘Emma has to wait for him too. It’s hard for her too. You’re mean, Kwan Yin,’ Simone said.
    ‘Leo will die before your daddy comes back,’ Kwan Yin said.
    Simone didn’t say anything.
    ‘Come with me for a walk, Simone,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘We need to talk.’
    ‘Is Emma safe if I leave her here alone?’ Simone said.
    ‘Yes,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘She can enjoy the Garden.’
    I opened my arms so that Simone could jump down. ‘Go, Simone. I’ll wait here for you.’
    ‘Have a walk around the Garden,’ Simone said. ‘I think you’ll be surprised. I’m going to talk to Aunty Kwan.’
    ‘Have a walk, Emma,’ Ms Kwan said. ‘Do not be concerned about becoming lost. We will be able to find you, wherever you are. Enjoy.’
    The Garden was tiny. ‘I don’t think I’ll get lost.’
    ‘Come on, Kwan Yin, let’s have a walk,’ Simone said, taking Kwan Yin’s hand and leading her away.
    I looked out over the pond, then back to Simone and Kwan Yin. They were gone.
    Use this time for contemplation, Emma, Kwan Yin said. It is the last you will have for a while.
    I rose and walked down to the pond. Some koi that had been hovering near the surface disappeared under the water with a plop. There was a path around the pond and I followed it. A couple of graceful willows straddled the water. Some gravel was strewn at the edge of the pond, making a tiny rocky beach.
    I followed the path past a stone lantern under a bush and turned the corner. Some stepping stones led me across a miniature stream that splashed into the pond.
    When I had carefully navigated the stepping stones, I looked up to follow the path along the wall, but there was a round opening, a moon gate, in front of me. I followed the path through it.
    I was in a dense forest of pines. The wind whispered through the needles high above me. I stopped. The silence was complete, except for the whisper of the needles. There wasn’t another living thing for miles; I could sense it. A feeling of absolute calm tranquillity filled me as I walked along the gravel path through the towering pines.
    I was on a sandy beach next to a huge, placid lake. Blue mountains softened the horizon on the other side of the lake. A couple of deer came to the edge of the lake to drink, and ignored me as I walked past them. The pines came almost to the edge of the water. There was a small pavilion,