Release Me

to him. “Are you okay?”
    He looks me up and down, but I’m not sure he’s seeing the clothes. Not sure he’s hearing anything but the conversation that he must be replaying over and over again in his mind.
    “Damien?”
    “No,” he snaps. “I’m not okay. Are you—oh, God, Nikki.”
    “Me? I’m fine. I’m—” He shuts me off with a kiss, hard and brutal. Our teeth clack together, and he twists his fingers in my hair to hold my head in place while he assaults my mouth with such force I’m certain my lips will bruise.
    He moves us backward, then throws me down on the bed, his hands going to the waistband of the pants. They are loose on me, and he tugs them down, but not off, so they remain on my calves and ankles, like strange ropes binding my legs in place.
    He scoots me back and roughly spreads my knees, and I’m wet, so damn wet as he moves to straddle me. Before I know it, he thrusts his cock deep inside me. He pumps, hard and fast and brutal. I watch his face. The face of a man fighting a battle. The face of a man who will keep fighting until he wins.
    I reach for him, but some instinct has me dropping my hands. Damien needs this—he needs to take me. To truly
take
me.
    And in so many ways, I need to be taken.
    He releases a long, slow groan, and I feel it as his orgasm shudders through him. He collapses on me, but only for a moment. Then he pulls himself up and looks at me, and I see pain sharpen his eyes.
    “Shit.”
His curse is little more than a whisper. He pulls out of me, then starts to leave the room. He pauses by the fireplace and turns back to me, his mouth open as if to speak, his eyes full of regret. I wait for the words, but they don’t come.
    After a moment, he walks away.
    I kick the pants off so that I can move properly, grab the sheet and curl up in it, trying to decide what to do. I have no idea what that was about, but it’s clear enough that it originated with that phone call. And even though he seems to want to be alone now,I don’t think I’m going with that plan. Tonight, he’s damaged. And if I can’t fix him, I want to at least hold him.
    I strip off the rest of his clothes and pull on my red silk robe, which is where it always is before a session, draped across a stool by Blaine’s easel.
    Barefoot, I go in search of Damien.
    The task is harder than it sounds. The house is the size of a small country, and in the unfinished areas, sounds echo strangely, and it’s difficult to tell where to go.
    I hear a strange, rhythmic thump, and finally manage to follow it down to the first floor. I find Damien in a huge, unfinished room. It has a treadmill, a basic floor mat, and a punching bag.
    It’s the sound of his fists pummeling the bag that has led me here.
    “Hey,” I say. “You okay?”
    He throws one last punch and then turns to look at me. He’s put on a pair of briefs, but he didn’t bother with boxing gloves. His knuckles are raw and bleeding.
    “Oh, baby,” I say. I look around and see a towel and a water bottle in a plastic crate, along with the gloves he should be wearing. I dampen the cloth and then return to him. “This might sting a little.”
    “Dammit, Nikki.” He pulls his hand away from me and cups my face. The dark wildness that was in his eyes earlier has vanished. Whatever demon he was battling, I think it’s been laid to rest. Or at least admitted to ICU. “Are
you
okay?”
    “Of course.” I take his hand back and gently tend to his battered knuckles. “You’re the one I’m worried about.”
    “I hurt you.” There’s such pain in his voice that I think my heart’s going to break.
    “No,” I say. “You didn’t. You needed me. I
want
you to need me.” I smile up at him, trying to be a bit lighthearted. “And I think we’ve established I can handle a little pain.”
    From his expression, it’s clear he doesn’t appreciate my levity.
    “Not like that,” he says.
    “Why not?”
    “Dammit, Nikki, I told you I’d never hurt you.”
    I shrug, tilting my head sideways to look at him. “You spanked me. Hell, you whipped me.”
    “That turned you on. It was a game. And I did it because I was hot for you and because you got off on it, too.”
    I’m biting my lip. What he says is absolutely true.
    “But what I did just now—” He turns away from me and jabs out two quick punches, pummeling the air. “Goddammit. I was pissed off about something and I fucked you in anger, and I don’t do that.”
    I go to his side,