Release Me

pull out the ankle bracelet. I take a deep breath and then I drop it onto the bed.
    I pause only long enough to look at the raw, unfinished painting. I feel a lump in my throat. Then I turn and hurry down the stairs.
    Damien doesn’t come after me.
    I’m not sure how I get through the next two days. They are a haze of ice cream, classic movies, and really depressing country songs. Twice, Jamie makes me go sit by the pool, saying that the vitamin D will be good for me. But it doesn’t feel good. Nothing feels good.
    My sleep schedule is all screwed up, and I don’t worry about fixing it, because I don’t need to get up early since I don’t have a job. I called Bruce from the car after leaving Damien’s house and told him I couldn’t accept the job. I need to cut all my ties with Damien Stark because if I don’t, I know I’ll get reeled back in. I can feel the part of me that’s already tugging in that direction, I miss him so terribly.
    My nights are turning into days and vice versa and I’m learning all sorts of things about products that are sold only by infomercial. That’s why I know neither what day it is nor what time it is when I’m awakened from a cat nap on the couch by a determined knock at the door. I yell for Jamie to answer it, but of course she’s not home. She’s had two more auditions and a callback, and while I’m thrilled for her, I’m also feeling lost and lonely.
    The pounding continues. I groan and sit up.
    Once the blood starts flowing I wonder who could be that persistent. Damien? I doubt it. I haven’t heard a word from him. Not to offer me explanations, or even to check on me.
    Because you made the right decision. You really were just chattel. He’s moved on
.
    Well, fuck. Now I feel like shit all over again.
    The pounding ramps up. “All right! I’m coming! Hang on!”
    I stand up and blink. I can feel that my face is puffy and Iknow that my unwashed hair is a mess. I’m wearing the same ripped flannel pajama pants I’ve been wearing for two days, and my tank top has coffee spilled on it.
    I am pathetic, and I really couldn’t care less.
    I pad to the door in my fluffy socks, careful not to trip over Lady Meow-Meow, who seems thrilled to see signs of life in me.
    I don’t usually bother, but I take the trouble to look through the peephole to make certain it’s not Damien about to see me like this.
    It’s not.
    It’s worse.
    It’s my mother.

28
    “Mother,” I say. “What are you doing here?”
    She brushes past me, then looks critically around the room, her nose wrinkling. After a moment, she walks to the dining table, then uses the tips of her fingers to pull out the chair. She takes a tissue from her purse, brushes the seat, and sits. She folds her hands in front of her on the table and keeps her back straight.
    I follow and flop down in the chair opposite. I prop my elbow on the table and rest my chin on my fist.
    My mother smiles at me. The same fake smile she reserves for cashiers and gas station attendants.
    I try again. “Why are you in LA?”
    “I would think that was obvious,” she says. “I came to help.”
    Granted my brain is a little fuzzy, but I don’t know what she’s talking about.
    “With Damien Stark,” she says, and my stomach clenches tight.
    “What are you talking about, Mother?”
    “I saw the picture, of course. And the caption. Why you didn’t tell me a man like Damien Stark was courting you, I don’tknow. But it’s the first good news I’ve heard about this move to Los Angeles.”
    I stare blankly at her.
    “Well, darling, really. If you’re trying to marry a man like Damien Stark, you want to make sure not to disappoint. He can so easily move on to another woman.”
    Yeah. Easy
. As far as I know, he already has.
    She looks me up and down, her lips a thin line. “Clearly we have a lot of work to do.” She pulls her phone out of her Chanel handbag. “What’s the best spa nearby? We’ll focus on your makeup first. Thank goodness your hair is still stunning, even if it is filthy. We’ll get the ends trimmed, of course. Then a new wardrobe and then this apartment. If Jamie is particularly attached to any of these things, she can put them in storage.”
    “I broke up with him, Mother.”
    I swear to God, my mother turns green.
    “You what?” From her tone, you would have thought I’d told her that I only had twenty-four hours to live. “Why on earth would you do something so foolish?”
    “Why?” I open my