Return to Eden

wake up crying in the dark, he did that for a long time. I think that I agree with him.
    There is no reason now for him to remember how to speak Yilanè. He wouldn't take the knife back, even after I scrubbed it clean. But his son wears it now about his neck, and Arnwheet wears mine. Father and son, the way it should be.
    I miss its presence some times, cool against the skin of my chest. But the shining metal ring is still there, will always be there. Grown in place by Vaintè to keep me prisoner. She is long dead—but it was never soon enough. There is no counting the number dead because of her. I must go to Alpèasak soon. Tell them they must be more cautious, strengthen their wall, maybe move their birth beaches. The young hunters brought the head to me so I could tell them if this was the killing marag. It was not very deadly, the eyes bulged, the jaw hung limp. Just a fargi fresh from the sea. I said that it was, but they must not kill any more of them. They laughed at that. They still respect me, I think, but they do not obey.
    What was it that Enge said before she left, that distant day? That it would not always be a Yilanè world. I did not believe her then. I think I do now. There seem to be more and more Tanu about, more sammads than I could ever count. Many have left this island. I can see a time, not soon, not tomorrow, certainly not in my lifetime, when there might be so many Tanu that would want to hunt the land where Alpèasak now grows. Want to hunt the herds there. I can see that happening.
    I would like to see the valley of the Sasku again, but it is a very long way away. Two hunters went there, came back, they said everything there was the same. It will probably always stay the same, that's the kind of people they are. They said that Sanone was dead, he was very old, otherwise everything was the same.
    I think I will visit Alpèasak. Warn them to guard their beaches better or more fargi will be slain. I see their uruketo in the distance sometimes, so they will know what is happening in the other cities of the Yilanè world. I wonder if they will know of Enge and her new city far to the south? Although she explained it, I could never understand the Daughters of Life. Enge and Vaintè, as different as night and day. Well, Tanu can be like that so why not Yilanè? It is a strange world we live in.
    Strange. I heard someone talk about the alladjex and they called him old Fraken. He is going bald, perhaps that is it. But I remember when he was just the boy-without-a-name. Things change I guess.
    It is going to rain, I know. My hip always hurts when it is going to rain. I think I will go hunting today.
    Though we have enough meat. Or perhaps I will go to the island where Nadaske used to live. Poor, lonely creature. Though I shouldn't say that. He left the hanalè, lived on his own, learned to hunt and fish.
    Learned to kill doing it, something that the Yilanè males never do. It was well learned, a blow well struck.
    I will never forget him.
    Others have of course. Everyone has. I haven't. Ermanpadar never had a braver tharm in his belt of stars.
    Though I suppose that Yilanè don't have tharms. I wouldn't know about anything like that.
    I was born Tanu, lived Yilanè, and am Tanu once again.
    Or both really. I don't mind. Although I feel a strange loneliness at times. I have Armun, so it is not that kind of loneliness.
    I must go to Alpèasak and talk to the eistaa, others there. I should have done it years ago. So perhaps it is too late. I am afraid that it is. Too late.
    Nevertheless these things happened and they must be told.
    The telling is over now.

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