River’s End

enough, but he’d said them with such steely finality, with such a wintry indifference that she wrapped her arms tight to ward off the vicious chill.
    “You’re cold.” He reached down for her robe, tossed it onto the tangled sheets. “Go to bed.”
    “You think you can speak to me like that, then walk away?”
    “Yeah, I do.” He found what was left of his shirt and stuffed it in his pocket.
    “You son of a bitch.’“ He only lifted a brow when she scrambled off the bed. punched her arms through the sleeves of her robe. “I’m a combat zone? Well, who the hell asked you to sign up for the fight?”
    “I guess we can say I was drafted. Lock those outside doors,” he instructed and turned to leave.
    “Don’t you dare walk out. You started this. You can’t possibly understand. You have no idea what it’s like for me. You pop into my life whenever you damn well please, and I’m just supposed to go along?”
    “You kick me out of your life whenever you damn well please,” he retorted “And I’m just supposed to go along.”
    “You want to talk about love and marriage, building houses, having children, and I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow.”
    “Is that all? Well, just let me consult my crystal ball.”
    Ordinarily, the killing look she shot him would have made him want to grin. Now he simply studied her with mild interest as she swore at him and spun away to pace. “Always a slick answer, always a joke. I just want to slap you.”
    “Go ahead. I don’t hit girls.”
    He knew that would do it. She stopped on a dime, swung around all balled fists, quivering muscles and fiery eyes. Her breath heaved as she fought for control, and her cheeks flushed with furious color.
    Under the wall of temper he’d built leaked a stream of sheer admiration for her willpower. She wanted to wale into him but wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. God, what a woman.
    “I prefer being civilized,” she told him.
    “No, you don’t. But you’re probably smart enough to know if you take a swipe at me we’ll just end up in bed again. You lose control there, when I’m touching you, when I’m inside you. You forget to pick up all the emotional baggage you’ve carted around all your life, and it’s just you and me.”
    “Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re exactly right. But I can’t spend my life in bed with you, and the baggage is right there waiting when I get up.”
    “So throw some of it out. Liv. and travel light.”
    “You’re so smug, aren’t you’.’“ She detested the bitter taste of the words. “With your nice, cozy suburban childhood? Mom and Dad puttering around the house on weekends and you and all your pals ready to ride your bikes to the park after school.”
    Progress, he thought, and settled into the fight. Finally, she was cutting through the shield. “I’d say it wasn’t quite like Beaver Cleaver, but you wouldn’t know who the hell I was talking about since you didn’t watch TV.”
    “That’s right, I didn’t. Because my grandmother was afraid they’d run a story on my mother, or I’d turn it on and see one of her movies or one of the movies made about her. I didn’t go to school because someone might have recognized me, and there’d be talk. Or there’d be an accident.. Or God knows. I didn’t have my parents lazing around the house on a Sunday afternoon because one was dead and the other in prison.”
    “So how can you have a normal life now? That’s a pitiful excuse for being afraid to trust your own feelings.”
    “And whal if it is?” Shame tried to wash through her temper, but she damned it up. “Who are you to judge me? Who have you lost? You can’t know what it’s like to lose one of the most vital people in your life to violence. To see it. To be part of it.”
    “For Christ’s sake, my father was a cop. Every time he strapped on his weapon and left the house, I knew he might not come back. Some nights when he was late, I’d sit by the window in the dark and wait for his car.” He’d never told anyone that, not even his mother. “I lost him a thousand different ways over a thousand different nights in my head. Don’t tell me I don’t understand. My heart breaks for you, for what you lost, but goddamn it, don’t tell me I don’t understand.”
    Because it ripped at him, he swung around toward the door. “The hell with this.”
    “Wait.” She would have rushed to the door to stop him, but her knees were shaking.
    “Please. I