Savage Tales

cops. They didn't enjoy the sewer system, but they enjoyed prison even less.
    When they cops came in on the bloodbath, one of them vomited as well, which goes to show that the difference between cops and criminals is greatly exaggerated, that basically at heart we've all got the same physiological responses and that we only sometimes wear different uniforms because it makes us feel special.

    After they sorted out the bodies and realized that Donnie Morelli was alive and well in their possession, they got that bullet out of his penis and set to work on getting him well and ready for the courtroom.
    Before the case came to trial, the judge who'd been appointed to handle it received a request for a meeting from Vincent Morelli. This was most peculiar. Morelli had numerous warrants out for his arrests on charges as disparate as kidnapping and counterfeiting, so it didn't make much sense that he'd want to throw himself into the arms of the law. But the judge couldn't refuse such an enticing offer. He agreed to the meeting and the terms that he be alone, but insisted that Morelli go through a security screening by a junior aide (not a security guard but a nerdy little man who anyone could bully).
    They met at midnight in the old courthouse.
    The judge and his nerdy aide checked their watches, and Morelli arrived right on time. Gangsters were so timely.
    "What's all this?" said the judge.
    "What?" said Morelli.
    "These crutches."
    Morelli was on crutches.
    "From some recent physical exertions and interactions. I am slightly incapacitated, your honor."
    "All right, step through the metal detector," said the judge.
    Morelli handed his crutches around to the aide and then hopped through the metal detector. Then the aide patted him down.
    "He's clean," said the aide.
    "Good," said the judge. "Wait outside if we need you."
    Morelli and the judge went into the judge's office, and the judge sat down. Morelli didn't sit down. Instead, he raised one of the crutches to horizontal level and aimed the end at the judge. He pulled on the hand grip and a bullet came out in near silence and planted itself in the judge's heart, which chose to stop beating when the bullet pierced it.
    Morelli lowered his crutch. He turned around on the crutches and went to the door, opened it, and let himself out, closing the door behind him.
    "That was fast," said the aide.
    "They pay you to say stuff like that?" said Morelli. "The judge and I didn't have much to say. He asked that he not be disturbed."
    Morelli left.
    After that incident, it was difficult to find a judge who would take Donnie Morelli's trial.

OLD FA CE, NEW STARS

    "I suppose you saw the news."
    "Yes, sir."
    "Then you know we have a challenge here. Plus an opportunity – if things go well. We need your help."
    He passed me the famous image. Mt. Everest, and charred on its side, huge letters that said HUMANS WHO YOU ARE WANT.
    "What do you make of that?"
    I coughed. "Sir, it's not really enough information to go on. I mean, to say if they are hostile or simply curious."
    "But they're probably hostile."
    I said nothing. He passed me an envelope.
    "This is everything that didn't make the news. Look it over."
    I did just that. Got home and fed the cat, then turned off the phone and spent the next four hours with that material.
    The most notable fact was: These creatures had been communicating since 1996. Other words had been found on hills and mountains around the world, but they'd always been attributed to local illiterates, gangs. The messages changed, but always felt like questions, however poorly phrased. Here are some of them:
    WHY YOU ARE
    TELL ABOUT TIME
    GIVE UP MIND HERE IS IT
    THE SOUND COMES OVER NOW ISING
    Surely any creature capable of making these giant etchings could take the time to learn basic English grammar, but apparently not.

    And that's all there was for a few months. A riddle that lingered and seemed to go nowhere. Anticlimax. I was as familiar with the facts as anyone, an "expert" because I knew all the messages were linked. But they didn't point anywhere.
    Then they came . They simply arrived. And no one saw them. They didn't go to the president, or the United Nations. They didn't seem to come at all. They were simply here.
    It was a building in the Arizona desert, ten times the size of the Pentagon and four hundred feet high. No one saw it built. It just appeared one day. No roads nearby. It was only detected by satellite images. The military immediately