Sebastian

thighs.
    "Trollop," Mam hissed. "Slut. Whore. You think I don't know what you're up to?"
    "I didn't do anything bad. I just went for a walk."
    "I know what kind of walk girls take when they slip out of the house at night. I didn't take you in and raise you up so you could run off and keep house for some man. As if something like you deserved to have a husband and children. You're nothing but trash abandoned by the side of the road. Just trash I took in out of the goodness of my heart, hoping I could raise you up to be a decent girl. But you were born trash, and you'll always be trash. Should have left you to die. That's what I should have done."
    "I just went for a walk!"
    The protest made no difference. The words and the blows continued until Mam had said what she wanted to say. Until Lynnea's back ached unbearably from the strap and her heart felt scoured by the words.
    Then a creak of a floorboard upstairs had Mam giving Lynnea's hair a final yank before she stepped back.
    "The man's up. Get out to the henhouse and fetch the eggs."
    Lynnea shuffled over to the wooden counter next to the kitchen sink. Her hands shook so badly, she spilled the matches all over the counter when she opened the matchbox to light the lantern.
    Cursing quietly, Mam grabbed the box and lit the lantern's candle. "Useless. That's all you are. A waste of time and money. Git out there now. Git."
    Taking the lantern, Lynnea moaned as she bent down to pick up the egg basket.
    "And don't you be whining and moaning," Mam said. "You got less than you deserve, and you know it, missy."
    Another floorboard creaked.
    Lynnea left the kitchen as fast as she could. If Pa came down and realized something was wrong, things would get worse. Much, much worse.
    But when she got to the henhouse and hung the lantern on the peg by the door, she just stood there, staring at the sleepy hens.
    This was her life. Nothing but this.
    She couldn't remember her life before the farm. Didn't have her own memory of how she'd come to live with Mam and Pa and Ewan, just Mam's story about finding a little girl abandoned by the side of the road.
    I found you by the side of the road, and I can put you out again just as easily, and don't you forget it, missy. You earn your keep or you go hack to the road with nothing more than the clothes you're wearing — just like 1 found you .

    There had never been any kindness in Mam. She seemed to love Ewan and Pa in a cold sort of way, but she'd never shown even that cold kind of love to the little girl she'd taken in. Maybe she'd longed for a daughter of her own and that was the reason she'd stopped that day to pick up an abandoned child.
    Why didn't matter anymore. Every mistake—and a child could make so many—had been followed by the threat of being taken down the road and abandoned again. She'd never felt safe, had lived in fear that this would be the day she would make the mistake that would end with her being tossed out like a used-up rag.
    And yet, when she tried to remember that day on her own, she remembered it differently. She could feel herself as that little girl, happy and full of anticipated pleasure as she roamed the edges of a clearing and then followed a path in the woods, picking flowers for her mama. When she came out of the woods, she was standing on the edge of a road, holding a double fistful of flowers. And her mama had gotten lost.
    Then the lady, Mam, came by with the horse and little wagon. She stared at Lynnea, who was trying to be brave and not cry because her mama was lost.
    You're the answer to a wish, Mam said as she got down from the wagon. What's your name, child?
    Lynnea. I picked flowers for Mama, hut she's lost.
    I'm going to be your mama now.
    Mam picked her up and put her in the wagon. Not on the seat, but on the floor. Then Mam climbed into the wagon and slapped at the horse to make it run very fast.
    Lynnea used her sleeve to wipe away the tears. She didn't know if that was a true memory or just wishful thinking that changed Mam's story so it didn't hurt so much. Just as she didn't know if she really remembered a man and woman calling her name, over and over, as if they were searching for her.
    Didn't matter now which story was true. It had all happened a long time ago. Sixteen years, in fact. She knew that because not long after she'd come to live with Mam, Ewan had his sixth birthday and Mam had baked a cake as a special treat. That evening, when she was getting ready for bed, she'd told Mam