Second Hand: A Tucker Springs Novel 2

hard in the shower for a month just thinking about what they’d done in there, and his recliner was now officially an erogenous zone. Takeout subs would probably give him a boner for the foreseeable future, as well.
He still felt a well of panic whenever he thought about the other things he’d confessed, and the fact that Paul hadn’t ever exactly said, “Why yes, I’d love to date you, and aren’t you so sweet to ask that way,” or anything remotely Hallmark-like, wasn’t helping his case. Where the fuck that had come from, he didn’t know, but he wished he could stuff the conversation back. He felt too raw, too exposed.
This wasn’t supposed to happen. Hadn’t Denver pointed out that he’d thrown his hat into the ring of a game he couldn’t win? Wasn’t this exact situation what he’d always sworn he’d avoid?
A rustle and a brush of hair against his toes was his only warning before something lapped at his feet. “Come here, girl,” El whispered, and MoJo promptly scurried over, trading up to lick his face.
El shut his eyes, settled back into his pillow, and gave himself over to her ministrations.

chapter 22

I’
    m gay.
    The words resonated in my head all the way home late that night, as I went to sleep, and when I woke up the next morning. I woke up early too, so early I decided to walk to the office. I swung by Mocha Springs Eternal and got an egg sandwich and a latte, eating out on the sidewalk tables because it was a beautiful morning. I couldn’t think about that, though. All I could think about was, I’m gay.
    I don’t know if I was trying to get used to it or what. I still wasn’t entirely sure that’s what I was—gay, or bi? I didn’t know, and I wasn’t sure it mattered. The idea wasn’t making the pit of my stomach feel like a big hole anymore, but it still felt like my throat was stopped up with my heart, which beat so hard it tried to come out my ears. All I knew was I felt strange, like I’d woken up in new skin. Or with some new door open letting in a breeze that alternately excited me and made me panic.
    I’m gay. Or bi. Or something.
I’m gay.
I walked in the front door of the office. Nick stood
    behind the counter, checking something on my computer. When he saw me, he smiled. “Hey, Paul. How are you this fine Monday?”
“I’m gay,” I replied.
    Out loud. I’d said it out loud. I froze, the heart-in-throat feeling so intense I thought I’d pass out.
Nick blinked a few times, then winked at me as he grinned. “Congratulations.” He turned back to the monitor. “Just printing something and then I’ll be out of your hair.”
Eventually I was able to move, but my legs felt like jelly as I came behind the counter. “Sorry. I—I don’t know why I blurted that out.”
“I think a little more blurting things out would be good for you, Paul, especially things as important as that.” He hit a few keystrokes and stood up, stretching and grimacing at his watch. “Brooke already called in. I probably should have out-and-out fired her, but . . .” His gaze slid to me. “Well, to be honest, I wanted to talk to you before I did anything.”
I was still reeling from my confession, and I couldn’t keep up with such an abrupt conversational shift. “Me?”
“Yes, you.” He leaned against the file cabinet and gave me an almost scolding look. “I’ve been waiting for you to suggest this yourself, but clearly you need a bit of a nudge. What would you say to taking Brooke’s place?”
“Sure. I never mind filling in.”
Nick’s smile lifted at the corners. “I mean taking her place permanently, Paul. How would you like to be my vet tech?”
I’m pretty sure my jaw fell open. “Me?”
“Yes, you. I know you did at least some vet school, so you have to have most of the classes for the associate degree already. It might seem weird, going back for an undergraduate degree when you already have one, but really, I think that will make it that much easier for you, having played the game once before. I’ll be able to give you more to do if you go back for the full four-year program, but even that you should be able to complete with a patch job. If you aren’t comfortable with student loans, we can negotiate some kind of advance or I can help you look into scholarships.”
When I remained speechless, he laughed and nudged me with his elbow. “Come on, say yes. I don’t want to hire another flake. I want to hire you.”
I didn’t know what to say. Between El