Second Hand: A Tucker Springs Novel 2

clearly best keep that thought to myself. That smell was back now: a little sweat, a little spice, a little something undefinable that made me dizzy.
El smiled at me, leaned forward, and the smell overwhelmed me enough to make me close my eyes and open my mouth on a silent inhale, tasting him on the air. Only for a second, though, because then his mouth found mine, the intensity of his kiss a jolt sending me into a land of nothing but sensation before he broke away to slide down my body. Propped up on my elbows, I watched in a disoriented haze as his dark head bobbed up and down on me, over and over until finally I caught his hair in a desperate fist.
“Stop or I’m going to come,” I whispered.
He smiled around the tip of my cock, a gesture that nearly put me over the edge by itself. “I thought that was the idea.”
The chipmunk came babbling back in a rush, but I shoved it aside all by myself this time. “I want more.”
The way El’s gaze darkened made me shiver. “How much more?”
“I told you. All of it.” Gathering up all my courage, I said. “I want you to fuck me.”
Why did he seem surprised? I would have cringed, except he was clearly eager too. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to,” I reassured him, even though my ass was clenching at the very thought.
He caught the tip of my penis in a quick suckle-kiss before he smiled. “You know, they don’t have a badge for anal sex in the Gay Scouts. It doesn’t make you any more or less.”
“I know that,” I said, but too quickly, because I really didn’t.
The truth must have shown on my face, because he shifted to lie beside me, leaning on his elbow as he spoke. “Some guys live for it. Some refuse to do it ever. Some save it for a kind of rite of passage in a relationship. Some will do it in the back room of a bar.”
“What do you do?”
God, but I loved that wry smile. “A little of everything except the back room of a bar.”
That was good, I decided. As exciting as the back room of a bar was in theory, I wasn’t sure I was up for it in practice. “What do you want to do right now? And don’t say whatever I want to do,” I added quickly, because I knew that’s what he’d tell me if I didn’t disallow it.
He seemed to consider his options for a moment, his hand idly stroking my thigh as he did so. Finally his gaze met mine, those beautiful dark eyes bare and honest, more so than I thought I’d ever seen them. “I want you. I want to fuck you. I want you to fuck me. I want to rim you until you come on my sheets. I want to rub off together in the shower. I want to watch you masturbate. I want you to jack my cock. I want you to blow me. I want to blow you again. I want to do you in a chair. I want to do you in the bed with you facing me. I want to pound into you from behind. I want you to pound into me from behind.”
Forget the blowjob. I was going to spill just listening to him. “That all sounds good,” I whispered.
But El wasn’t done. He kept speaking, and if I thought he’d been naked for the first soliloquy, he peeled back the skin on his chest for what came next.
“I want to lie in bed with you and listen to a rainstorm come in over the mountains. I want to find out what you eat for breakfast. I want you to stop by the shop because you want to see me, not because you have some crap from your ex you want to unload.”
I stared at him, recognizing the quiet terror behind his confession because I felt it in myself, though I didn’t quite get why. “No, you don’t,” I said at last.
He relaxed back into amusement. “Is that so?”
I wasn’t relaxed. I felt even more panicked, in fact. “Why would you want me like that?” When he stiffened up again, I felt compelled to keep talking. “You’re saying you want to date me. Why?”
“I’m trying to decide if you’re insulting yourself or me or both with the assumption that I wouldn’t want to date you. Or is that your way of politely telling me you want to fuck me but not date me?”
Was that what I was saying? I had no idea. I propped myself up further, regarding him soberly, a little desperately. “There’s nothing special about me. And as a boyfriend—I’m bad in general, but I’ve never been with a man. Somebody like you . . .” I trailed off, unsure of how to finish that without sounding completely pathetic.
Crawling over me, El pushed me back into the mattress, rubbing our naked cocks against one another, rousing them back to full life.