Shadow and Betrayal

in my life. Yes, I loved her. I’ll love someone else later. Likely someone that hasn’t set herself to kill off her relations.’
    ‘It’s always like this,’ Stone-Made-Soft said. ‘Every one of them. The first love always comes closest. I had hopes for this one. I really did.’
    ‘You’ll live with the disappointment,’ Cehmai said.
    ‘Yes,’ the andat said amiably. ‘There’s always another first girl.’
    Maati laughed once, amused though it was also unbearably sad. The andat shifted to look at him quizzically. Cehmai’s hands took a pose of query. Maati tried to find words to fit his thoughts, surprised by the sense of peace that the prospect of his own failure brought him.
    ‘You’re who I was supposed to be, Cehmai-kvo, and you’re much better at it. I never did very well.’
     
    Idaan leaned forward, her hands on the rail. The gallery behind her was full but restless, the air thick with the scent of their bodies and perfumes. People shifted in their seats and spoke in low tones, prepared for some new attack, and Idaan had noticed a great fashion for veils that covered the heads and necks of men and women alike that tucked into their robes like netting on a bed. The wasps had done their work, and even if they were gone now, the feeling of uncertainty remained. She took another deep breath and tried to play her role. She was the last blood of her murdered father. She was the bride of Adrah Vaunyogi. Looking down over the council, her part was to remind them of how Adrah’s marriage connected him to the old line of the Khaiem.
    And yet she felt like nothing so much as an actor, put out to sing a part on stage that she didn’t have the range to voice. It had been so recently that she’d stood here, inhabiting this space, owning the air and the hall around her. Today, everything was the same - the families of the utkhaiem arrayed at their tables, the leaves-in-wind whispering from the galleries, the feeling of eyes turned toward her. But it wasn’t working. The air itself seemed different, and she couldn’t begin to say why.
    ‘The attack leveled against this council must not weaken us,’ Daaya, her father now, half-shouted. His voice was hoarse and scratched. ‘We will not be bullied! We will not be turned aside! When these vandals tried to make mockery of the powers of the utkhaiem, we were preparing to consider my son, the honorable Adrah Vaunyogi, as the proper man to take the place of our lamented Khai. And to that matter we must return.’
    Applause filled the air, and Idaan smiled sweetly. She wondered how many of the people now present had heard her cry out Cehmai’s name in her panic. Those that hadn’t had no doubt heard it from other lips. She had kept clear of the poet’s house since then, but there hadn’t been a moment her heart hadn’t longed toward it. He would understand, she told herself. He would forgive her absence once this was all finished. All would be well.
    And yet, when Adrah looked up to her, when their gaze met, it was like looking at a stranger. He was beautiful: his hair fresh cut, his robes of jeweled silk. He was her husband, and she no longer knew him.
    Daaya stepped down, glittering, and Adaut Kamau rose. If, as the gossipmongers had told, the wasps had been meant to keep old Kamau silent that day, this would be the moment when something more should follow. The galleries became suddenly quiet as the old man stepped to the stage. Even from across the hall, Idaan could see the red weal on his face where the sting had marked him.
    ‘I had intended,’ he said, ‘to speak in support of Ghiah Vaunani in his urging of caution and against hasty decision. Since that time, however, my position has changed, and I would like to invite my old, dear friend Porsha Radaani to address the council.’
    With nothing more than that, old Kamau stepped down. Idaan leaned forward, looking for the green and gray robes of the Radaani. And there, moving between the tables, was the man striding toward the speaker’s dais. Adrah and his father were bent together, speaking swiftly and softly. Idaan strained to hear something of what they said. She didn’t notice how tight she was holding the rail until her fingers started to ache with it.
    Radaani rose up in the speaker’s pulpit, looking over the council and the galleries for the space of a half-dozen breaths. His expression was considering, like a man at a fish market judging the freshest catch. Idaan felt her belly