Shatner Rules

times than the Masturbating Bear!

    FUN FACTNER: William Shatner’s hundreds of talk show appearances over the years have left him with a debilitating case of “couch sores.”
    So, I’ve talked myself hoarse over nearly fifty years of talk show appearances. Quite a few of my clips have gone viral, which—nowadays—is a good thing and doesn’t require a shot. I’ve sung on these shows (most recently Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Conan). I almost lost a William Shatner trivia contest on Kimmel against an uber-fan. I was interviewed by the animated Space Ghost. I was even banned from Carson after a mid-1980s appearance when I talked too much and monopolized our discussion.
    It seems some of these talk show hosts prefer to be the ones who get all the laughs.
    I’ve been grilled by guys who are ultra-prepared, reading questions off their little blue cards, and grilled by guys like Stern and Ferguson, who might go in the most outlandish, unexpected directions. I came with stories and things to promote, and I’ve answered all their questions, but I also observed their questioning.
    So I knew one day I would get off that couch and hop behind the desk. The executives at the Biography Channel were interested, and I told them that I wanted to do an interview show with a
Vanity Fair
magazine vibe. I didn’t want to do just celebrities; I wanted to interview newsmakers, kings, aristocrats, politicians. I wanted to interview a variety of different kinds of people.
RULE: Advertisers Stop Listening after They Hear the Word “Celebrities”
    Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t be interviewing newsmakers, kings, aristocrats, and politicians.
Raw Nerve
was going to be a forum for celebrity interviews. But I refused to make it a conventional Q&A where a celebrity hawks his product to a bored audience.
    (Not that there’s anything wrong with hawking a product, mind you. Have you visited WilliamShatner.com yet? Or have you downloaded
Raw Nerve
episodes from iTunes, as a complement to this chapter?)
    First off, this show was going to be called
Raw Nerve
, not
Breakfast with Bill
. (Although that’s not off the table. What a wonderful idea for a show! Producers—call me!) Nerves were going to be touched, and they were going to be, well, look at the title. Raw!
    Am I a grand inquisitor? Depends on who you talk to. If you talk to any member of my family who has ever shared a meal with me, the answer will be “yes.” My daughters have often joked, “It’s not dinner with Dad unless someone leaves the table crying.” While tears are rare—and they’re usually mine (you’re not that special, Mr. Loaf)—we do often have spirited discussions at dinner, and I am often the one leading the hard line of questioning.
    I’m not a fan of boring conversations. I want to hear something interesting, I want to share something interesting, and I have many methods of getting a rise out of people to help spur discussions. A good debate also burns calories, so you can help yourself to another slice of meat loaf with gravy.
    On
Raw Nerve
I try to dig until I find the soul. Sometimes, celebrities get very good at hiding theirs. I want to talk and find out what their “point of entry” was in life, where they truly discovered who they were. I don’t what to know what happened to them; I want to know what they felt like when the thing happened. If they are going to plug something, I want them to plug the real human being inside.
    A lot of people might ask, “Bill, how can you possibly take on
another
TV project?” Well,
Raw Nerve
is easy—I don’t prepare for it.
    Nope. I don’t do pre-interviews, I don’t go over press releases, and I don’t sit there and obsess over my little blue cards full of bullet points. I sit down across from the guest, and just start grilling.
    (NOTE: If you’re ever going to be a guest on
Raw Nerve
, clear your calendar and bring a change of clothes.)
    The interview that makes it to air is cut down. Sometimes it takes me several hours to find the raw nerve. I dig, and dig, and dig, and I always find it.
    Valerie Bertinelli opened up about sin, adultery, and hell. Ed Asner discussed how his father never forgave him for being born. Weird Al Yankovic explored his feelings about his parents’ tragic deaths. Wayne Brady talked about the dissolution of his marriage.
    Tim Allen shared with me tales of his alcoholism and stint in prison, Fran Drescher spoke of her rape, Gene Simmons and I discussed Jewish identity,