Silent Run

be a mom. She wanted so badly to re-create the family that she’d lost. I used to encourage her to think more about a career, a job. She said she didn’t have enough money to pay for college, which I know was true, but I think she could have found a way if she really wanted it. She just didn’t see her future in academics, and she didn’t want to waste her time there. I couldn’t blame her. I went to art school. I made painting a priority over finding a job that would pay me a lot of money."
    â€œGoing to school would have been too much work. Sarah liked shortcuts."
    Catherine shook her head. “Jessica learned early on that life can change in a heartbeat. There’s no point in wasting time doing something you don’t love. You have to live for the moment."
    Dylan leaned forward, clasping his hands together. “I don’t know if we’re talking about the same person, but I’ll tell you this: Sarah isn’t living; she’s hiding. I talked to my brother earlier today. Since Sarah left him, she’s been living in a run-down apartment working as a night janitor. Does that sound like someone who’s grabbing hold of life? She walked out on Jake, who makes a good living as an architect. They were building a house together, for God’s sake. Jake was willing to give Sarah anything she wanted, and still she left. It’s pointless to even try to please a woman, because it’s impossible."
    Catherine tilted her head. “That last bit sounds like a personal statement."
    â€œJust calling it like I see it."
    â€œYou must not have met the right woman."
    â€œOh, believe me, I’ve met a lot of women."
    â€œI’m not talking about one-night stands. I’m talking about personal relationships where you actually learn each other’s last names."
    â€œHey, I’ve gotten plenty of last names."
    â€œBut I’m betting not much more than that."
    â€œWe’re not talking about me,” he returned.
    â€œYou don’t like to talk about you. It’s always about other people. Is that why you became a journalist -- so you could ask the questions?"
    He didn’t care much for her assessment, even though it was close to the mark. “Let’s get back to your friend Jessica."
    â€œI don’t know why Jessica or Sarah, if they’re the same person, left your brother the way she did, but I am sure of this -- Jessica knows how to survive. She had to learn early how to protect herself, because once her parents died, once she went into the system, she was on her own. If you want to survive in foster care, you have to figure out how to fit in. You have to be a chameleon. You have to be good at reading people, predicting who’s going to be a danger to you. You have to learn how to hide, how to run, and how to find help. Just because someone puts you in a house with a roof over your head doesn’t mean you’re in a good home. The monsters aren’t always in the closet or under the bed. Sometimes they’re right in front of you, only everyone thinks they’re the good guys."
    Catherine spoke as if she had had firsthand experience with those monsters. Dark shadows filled her eyes, and he could hear the edge of bitterness in her voice. He wondered if her sinister paintings were an expression of the blackness in her soul. The question came out before he could stop it: “Is that why you paint monsters?"
    She caught her breath, and for a moment he didn’t think she would answer.
    â€œYes,” she said finally. “I’m afraid if I don’t let them out, they’ll swallow me whole."
    The fear in her voice forged a connection between them. He’d faced a few monsters in his own time, and he knew what it felt like to be afraid, to feel young and powerless. But he wasn’t that scared kid anymore. He could take down any monster that came his way. Apparently Catherine didn’t feel quite so confident. He felt an odd urge to reach out to her, to offer his protection, but that was crazy. He didn’t know what she was involved in. Hell, she could be as messed-up as Sarah.
    He sat back in his chair, realizing they’d gotten off-track. And since Catherine was now working on biting one nail down to the quick, he suspected she was just as interested in changing the subject as he was. He was surprised when she glanced up at him, catching him in midstare.
    â€œYou bite your nails,” he