Silver Linings

this. You're going to stay right here, safe and sound.”
    “You can't make me stay here this time.”
    “The hell I can't,” he shot back. He clamped his hands around her shoulders and gave her a small shake. Then he looked down into her tear-filled eyes. “Listen to me, babe. You're going to stay here and that's all there is to it. That's an order.”
    “You're very good at giving orders, aren't you?” She sniffed and stepped back quickly away from him, dashing toward the little spiral staircase that led up to her sleeping loft.
    Hugh watched her run up the metal steps and throw herself down onto the bed. Then she was out of his line of sight. But he could hear her sobbing into the pillow.
    Not for the first time in his life, he felt like a real jerk. He went into the kitchen, tossed his unfinished wine down the sink, and poured himself a glass of whiskey.
    Mattie was still sniffling up in the loft when he sat down near the phone and started thumbing through the yellow pages. Ten minutes later he had his flight booked to St. Gabriel. Another early morning departure.
    Just like last time.

    Hugh was sitting in the same chair, still working on the same glass of whiskey a half hour later when he heard muffled noises from the loft. He glanced up but still couldn't see Mattie. He went back to staring out the rain-lashed window and wished Rainbird were already in hell.
    Mattie had been able to accept his past, Hugh realized. He was still dazed by that miraculous fact. But she seemed unable to forgive him for abandoning her a second time, even though it was for her own protection. He wished he could make her understand his own need to keep her safe.
    She was not accustomed to being taken care of, he reminded himself. That was the crux of the problem. He had tried to tell her this wasn't like last time. He wanted to explain that for his own sanity he had to know she was thousands of miles away from Rainbird.
    “Hugh?”
    He heard the soft footsteps behind him, but he was reluctant to turn around and face her. He had handled a lot of things in his life, but he did not want to deal with the accusation he knew he would see in her eyes. “Yeah, babe?”
    “When does your plane leave?” Mattie moved up behind him.
    “Six.”
    “I should have known.”
    “Mattie, I'm sorry,” he said roughly. “But this is the way it has to be.”
    There was a small silence. “You'll take care of yourself?”
    “Word of honor.”
    “You'll come back to Seattle?”
    “God, yes, babe. Count on it.” He did turn around then, and the first thing he saw was that she was smiling slightly.
    The second thing he saw was that she had changed into the little red sarong she had worn that night on Hades.
    “Jesus, babe.”
    “I didn't want you to forget me,” she whispered as her arms slid around his neck.
    “Never. No matter what happens.” He reached up and tumbled her down into his lap, kissing her with a hunger that he knew could only be temporarily assuaged, a hunger that would be with him all of his life. “I'll be back.”

    Mattie refused to cry the next morning when she drove him to the airport. She kept a determined smile pasted to her face the whole time, even when she waved good-bye at the gate.
    She did not allow the tears to fall until the jet had backed slowly away from the loading ramp and was headed for the runway. Then she went into the nearest ladies' room and sobbed for a long while.
    When the tears were finally finished, she bathed her face in cold water and went back out to the parking lot to find her car.
    He would be back, she told herself. He would not do something really stupid like get himself hurt. He had survived this long. No one could take care of himself as well as Hugh. He was a survivor.
    But so, apparently, was this mysterious Rainbird.
    Mattie parked the car back in the garage beneath her building and changed into a neat little gray checked business suit. Then she coiled her hair into its familiar bundle at the nape of her neck and left for the gallery. The only way she would stay reasonably sane until Hugh returned was to keep herself so busy she would have no time to think.
    She phoned Charlotte later in the day and told her what had happened. Her aunt commiserated with her but seemed convinced Hugh would be fine.
    “He's taken care of himself for quite a while. I'm sure he'll handle this little problem in no time,” Charlotte said. Then she hesitated. “So he finally told you about his