Snuff
of the Rainbow. Felicity says sheâs very smart.â
âWell, I donât think sheâll get anywhere with Nobby,â said Vimes. âHeâs carrying a torch for Verity Pushpram. You know, the fishmonger?â
Sybil whispered, âShe got engaged last month, Sam. To a lad whoâs building up his own fishing fleet.â They stared through the leaves and tiptoed away.
âBut sheâs a goblin!â said Vimes, out of his depth.
âAnd he is Nobby Nobbs, Sam. And she is quite attractive in a goblin sort of way, donât you think? And to be honest, Iâm not sure that even Nobbyâs old mother knows what species her son is. Frankly, Sam, itâs not our business.â
âBut what if Young Sam eats snails?â
âSam, given what heâs already eaten in his short life I wouldnât worry, if I was you. I expect the girl knows what sheâs doing, they generally do, Sam, believe me. Besides, this is limestone country and thereâs nothing poisonous for the snails to eat. Donât worry, Sam!â
âYes, but how willââ
âDonât worry, Sam!â
âYes, but I meanââ
âDonât worry, Sam! Thereâs a troll and a dwarf in Lobbin Clout that have set up home together, so Iâve heard. Good for them, I say, itâs their business and definitely not ours.â
âYes, butââ
âSam!â
D uring the afternoon Sam Vimes worried. He wrote dispatches and walked up to the new tower to send them. Goblins were sitting around the tower now, staring at it. He tapped one of them on the shoulder, handed it the messages and watched it climb the tower as if it were horizontal. A couple of minutes later it came down with a smudged confirmation-of-sending slip, which it handed to him along with several other messages before sitting down to stare at the tower again.
He thought: you have lived your life in and around a cave in a hill and now here is this magical thing that sends words, right on your doorstep. Thatâs got to command respect! Then he opened the two messages that had arrived for him, carefully folded up the paper and walked back down the hill, breathing carefully and taking care not to punch the air and whoop.
When Vimes reached the cottage of the woman who, to Young Sam, would forever be the poo lady, he stopped to hear the music. It came and went, there were false starts, and then the world revolved as liquid sound called out of the window. Only then did he dare to knock at the door.
Half an hour later, walking with the measured gait of the career copper, he proceeded to the lockup. Jethro Jefferson was sitting on a stool outside. He was wearing a badge. Feeney was learning fast. The constabulary of the Waterside owned precisely one badge, made of pot metal, and so, pinned to the shirt of the blacksmith was a carefully cut-out cardboard circle with, inscribed in painstaking handwriting, the words âConstable Jefferson works for me. Be told! Signed: Chief Constable Upshot.â
There was a second, empty stool by the blacksmith, reflecting the doubling of the staff. Vimes sat down with a grunt. âHow do you like being a copper, Mr. Jefferson?â
âIf youâre looking for Feeney, commander, heâs on his lunch break. And since you ask, I canât say coppering sits very well with me, but maybe itâs the kind of thing that grows on you. Besides, the smithy is a bit quiet right now, and soâs the crime.â The blacksmith grinned. âNo one wants me chasing them. I hear things are happening, right?â
Vimes nodded. âWhen you see Feeney, tell him that the Quirm constabulary has picked up two men who apparently volunteered the information that they had shanghaied you, amongst other misdemeanors, and it seems they have a whole lot of other information that they are desperate to tell us in exchange for a certain amount of clemency.â
Jefferson growled. âGive me five minutes with âem and Iâll show âem what clemency is.â
âYouâre a copper now, Jethro, so you donât have to think like that,â said Vimes cheerfully. âBesides, the balls are all lining up.â
Jefferson gave a hollow laugh, laden with malice, âIâd line their balls up for themâ¦and just you see how far apart. I was a kid when the first lot were taken and that bloody Rust kid was there all right, yes indeed,
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