Soul Beach

I? But her voice is all wrong.
    ‘Danny. I mean, I can see how he’d be an excellent catch in other circumstances, but, really, there’s no getting around the unfortunate fact that he’s, well, a tiny bit dead .’
    ‘You think I’d forgotten that?’
    ‘Don’t be chippy, Florrie. It’s just that . . .’ She takes off her sunglasses and looks at me with bloodshot eyes. ‘Oh, God, you’re serious, aren’t you?’
    ‘ Deadly serious,’ I say.
    ‘How old are you?’
    ‘Sixteen. Old enough to have sex. Old enough to leave school, and to ride a motorbike.’ I know I sound childish, but I don’t like her tone.
    ‘But clearly not old enough to make any kind of sensible decision. Had you forgotten that he’s not alive any more?’
    ‘Of course not. Look, Meggie, I don’t have to listen to this, you know. Should I leave until you can be happy for me?’
    Her face freezes, and instantly I feel guilty for the threat. I never used to have any power over my sister, and yet now I see utter terror in her eyes.
    ‘No. No. Sorry.’ She sighs. ‘Let me start again. It’s not that I think you’re being silly . . .’
    ‘Which means that is what you think.’
    ‘Have you really thought this through, Alice?’
    She must be serious, now; she’s using my real name. ‘I haven’t thought of anything else.’
    ‘So you’re happy about the fact that you’ll never be able to touch him, or be with him in any meaningful way?’
    ‘Not happy. But there are more important things than that.’
    ‘You think that now , but . . . love isn’t all fluffy kittens and pink hearts. Sometimes it’s bloody dark, and painful and violent. And sometimes it’s fatal.’
    I turn to her. ‘Have you remembered something? Or are you just trying to scare me?’
    ‘No. No, of course not. But passion and hatred can be too close for comfort sometimes.’
    ‘Was that how it was with Tim?’
    Meggie looks away. ‘I don’t remember, Alice. I guess I’m just trying to say that the choices we make aren’t always as straightforward as they seem. The idea of this pure passion with Danny is romantic, yeah, but so was Romeo and Juliet and that didn’t end well.’
    ‘I’m not stupid.’ But her words are having an effect, making me feel less ecstatic, even slightly ridiculous.
    ‘I never said you were.’ Her voice is soothing now. ‘But when I think how precious life is, how you have so much to look forward to, I can’t bear the thought of it. You can have any man you want. There’s a whole world of them out there, Florrie, don’t waste your future on one of us.’
    ‘I can’t see a future in the real world. I haven’t been able to believe that there’s anything to look forward to. Not since you left me.’
    My sister looks at me. ‘We’re ghosts , Florrie.’
    ‘You said never to call you that.’
    ‘Because it’s too close to the truth.’ She waves at the beach. Guests lie motionless, limbs blending into the sand. She frowns. ‘And what does Danny say about it all?’
    ‘He feels the same way.’ I think back to the night he told me and despite the doubts Meggie has put in my mind, I tingle all over. ‘We’re going to take it slow. I mean, OK, we don’t really have a choice but to take it slow, when I think about it, given that we can’t even touch. But don’t think that we don’t understand what it means for both of us.’
    Meggie sighs. ‘Oh, honey. I’m sure you think you understand, but how could you? Try to remember, he’s lonely and desperate. He’ll say anything.’
    ‘Actually, you’re totally wrong. When I said how I felt, he warned me off. Said if I ever ended up here, he’d refuse to talk to me, even pretend I didn’t exist.’
    My sister closes her eyes. ‘No. That’s too awful to think about. You wouldn’t, would you?’
    ‘Of course not.’ I wish I was as certain as I sound.
    ‘My ears were burning,’ a voice announces.
    Danny.
    He’s not looking at my sister at all – he’s looking at me. He’s even more perfect than I remember. It was always those eyes that drew me in before – the deep green mystery of them – but now it’s his soft lips that hypnotise me.
    Hello beautiful he mouths.
    Hello back.
    ‘Oh, don’t let me get in the way of young love,’ my sister says.
    Danny sighs, closing his eyes for a moment. One night, perhaps even tonight, I want to lie next to him while he sleeps, watch his eyelids flicker and try to guess his dreams.
    When he opens his eyes