Soul Fire

backwards. It stings more than a slap. ‘Javier. It’s what she wanted.’
    ‘How was she supposed to know what she wanted? Guests get so obsessed with escaping the Beach that they never consider that what comes after could be worse . Loyalty means nothing, friendship means nothing.’
    His shoulders tremble.
    ‘Gretchen deserved justice.’
    He sits up. His face is twisted in what looks like hate. ‘You helped her.’
    ‘No.’
    ‘You did. You think you’re some saint. Some God .’
    ‘I had nothing to do with it. I promise. My priority is Meggie.’
    ‘Stop lying, Alice.’
    ‘I swear. I know how much Gretchen means to you. I would never have made changes without the consent of both of you.’
    He shakes his head. ‘What is it about me? I get close to someone, they leave the Beach. Cursed in real life, now cursed here too. I must have done bad things, huh?’
    ‘Javier, I’m certain Gretchen didn’t want to leave you. But perhaps there was no alternative. You know . . . what she suffered. The people who did that had to pay, didn’t
they?’
    And that’s when his face crumples. I reach out to him but he still backs off, the tears soaking his t-shirt.
    ‘Will you be OK?’ I ask.
    He squeezes his eyes shut. ‘I have no choice. Do I?’
    The few wispy clouds in the sky are disappearing, promising another beautiful day. Sometimes I think the powers-that-be should arrange the odd grey, drizzly day, just to remind Guests why
sunshine is so special.
    ‘You could have a choice.’
    He says nothing.
    ‘I could try to help you.’ I don’t look at him, because he might hate me even for suggesting it. ‘Of course, you could stay here. The Beach is a good place. But the
option is there, for me to . . . look into what happened to you.’
    Our eyes meet. His are defiant. ‘I know exactly what happened to me, Alice. There is no mystery, no detective work to be done.’
    I nod. ‘But if you know . . .’ I stop, but the question then why are you here? seems to hang in the air.
    Eventually, Javier says quietly, ‘Maybe I am curious about why I came here when my death was so . . . simple. Perhaps I’m curious about what happened to those I left
behind.’
    Then I remember last night. Barcelona . Sahara and Ade are going to Barcelona, where Javier came from. ‘I could help, Javier. You only have to say the word. I owe you
that.’
    This time I do look into his eyes. They’re red, from crying, but I’m sure I see hope there, momentarily. Then he frowns.
    ‘There are many others here more deserving of the help you gave Gretchen.’ He nods towards the huts. Guests are emerging from them, shading their eyes as they take in another bright
morning.
    How long before they notice that Gretchen has gone, and start jumping to the wrong conclusions too?
    ‘It honestly wasn’t me who set her free.’
    ‘So you say. Yet forces like these are unpredictable, surely? Nothing comes without consequences ,’ he says. That word again.
    ‘I would help you first, Javier. But you have to tell me what you want.’
    He laughs. ‘I am a human, Alice. Or at least I was. So what I want, inevitably, is what I cannot have.’
    In the distance, I see my sister leaving a bamboo hut and blinking in the morning light.
    ‘You don’t have to be lonely, Javier. Meggie’s still here. And Danny.’
    ‘I am merely a way of passing the time when they can’t be with the ones they love. Danny prefers you. And now Tim is here, Meggie has no need of others. She can be happy twenty-four
seven.’
    I look again. Tim has emerged from the hut, too. It’s the first time I’ve seen him smiling on the Beach. His face is transformed. ‘Maybe love isn’t a bad way to pass the
time, Javier.’
    Javier smiles. ‘I was in love, before, thank you. Second time round would be second rate.’
    A seagull scythes through the sky, towards the horizon, before it disappears.
    ‘Javier, did you see Gretchen go?’
    He shakes his head. ‘If I had known what was about to happen, I would have tried to stay awake. You could have told me.’
    ‘Maybe,’ I say, though I know I wouldn’t have dared risk the wrath of Sam and the Management. ‘But it’s a Guest’s decision. A Guest’s fate. Not
mine.’
    Again, I see the implications of what I’ve said sinking in. He sighs. ‘Gretchen’s escape has left me . . . what is the right word?’ He holds out his hands. ‘Empty.
Perhaps it may be best for me to seek a way out, but I cannot rush my